Growing Up...Growing Older...Whatever You Want to Call It

(Yes I realize that I have been horrible about keeping up with the whole blogging thing...I have a horrid memory and I've had other more important things to do. Okay? Everyone settled? Moving on.)

So I have decided to dedicate this post to an event that no one can avoid: growing up. It happens to us all. We are born, we slowly grow, we shat ourselves until we are potty trained, we cry for what we want until we turn about 18 (okay, that's a stretch...but for some is true), we become uncoordinated as our limbs grow faster than our brains can work them, our bodies begin to change (for boys this may take some time); but it all boils down to the fact that we are growing into adult human beings. It is unavoidable, inevitable, and frankly sucks at times.

I remember as a little kid thinking that I couldn't wait to be older. I'd get to wear all the cool clothes that the big kids got to wear which were, let's face it, downright ugly by today's standards. I'd get to stay up later and watch all of the hip shows that my older friends got to watch. I'd get to learn how to drive and not have to depend on Mom to be my personal taxi service forever. I'd get to make new friends and finally have some freedom! Growing up sounded great to me. But I didn't realize all that came with it.

I started college and adult life kinda hit me in the face. Mom and Dad weren't going to pay for everything anymore. Yes, they still gave me a roof over my head and fed me. But tuition, books, clothes, etc weren't paid for anymore. Not only that, but I had to become responsible for myself and my actions. Life wasn't as simple anymore. No longer could I go to school, not pay attention, go to practice, and then come home. No, I actually had to apply myself. I had to learn how to study, and become a good test and note-taker. It hasn't been easy! I began to re-think my childhood yearning to become an adult.

Now don't get me wrong. There are great things about being an adult! I have much more freedom, the social parts are WAY better, being in college has given me the opportunity to grow, I have made many more friends, I am way more independent, and I am overall happier. I am excited for what life will bring me in the form of a job and a place to live. Being an adult can be great sometimes! With bad there is always good. A silver lining of sorts.

I just want to let all of you middle schoolers, high schoolers, and just plain ignorant people out there that being an adult takes work and responsibility. You have to be a contributing citizen. Don't go out into the adult world expecting things to be handed to you on a silver platter by a freaking Playboy Bunny (guys!!!). It doesn't work like that. Look at the economy right now. Even before this shit-storm we are in now, people had to work for what they had (unless you are like freaking Paris Hilton). The American Dream is still attainable...it just requires a little more work, that's all! My advice? Go to college. Get an education. And not some bullshit, malarky degree like Underwater Basketweaving or something that you will never find a job in. You need to find something that you enjoy, but that will also have a job (more than likely) waiting for you when you get out of college. Just be smart, try your best, and have fun! You only live once (unless you are Hindu), so live it up!

On a happier note, look at my new baby kitty!!!! Zach and I got a baby kitty last week and he is so precious. Everyone say hello to O'Malley!!

Boys and Video Games

So it has been like forever since I've posted on here. Life has caught up with me and I was super busy until school got out...and let's face it, I completely forgot to document my pathetic life on here. So I'll give a quick summary of everything since my last post then get on with the real theme of this post:

So I ended winter term with a 4.0, my first EVER at OSU :) and started Spring term with great difficulty. I had issues with a professor in one of my classes and found out that if I dropped the class I would lose my scholarship if I didn't pick up one more credit. So I ended up with only 12 credits and 3 PE classes to fill up my schedule. Microbiology was pretty cool with all of the labs, and my lab partner K'Dean and I rocked the place! Biochemistry was interesting in itself because my professor often sang songs that he'd written. Now, don't get me wrong, the class was hard as hell with 3 tests and a cummulative final. But somehow (divine intervention maybe?) I managed to get an A and seal another 4.0 :) After the year ended, I got to spend a much needed break with Zach (yep, we're still dating, celebrated 10 months a few weeks ago and are still going strong, in case you were wondering) and for my birthday he took us boogie boarding (it was AWESOME!); as well as hunt for a job. I have recently accepted a combining job for a family friend and am hoping to also get hired on at Red Robin in the next week or so.

Now that we're all caught up, on to the original post topic: Boys and Video Games!

The other night I found myself accompanying Zach to (yet another) Halo party with friends and I found myself wondering, what is the appeal of video games to boys? Granted, I do enjoy video games now and again, but the ones I choose are not single person shooters such as Halo. I personally enjoy the Fables. Is it, perhaps, that it is not acceptable for men to show violence in today's society so they must take out those urges in video games? It is often very loud at these parties with exclamations such as: "BOOM! Headshot!" or "Double Kill!" that it makes one wonder if these seemingly tame men are in fact serial killers at heart or have violent tendencies. I know for a fact that the boys I was watching play are very sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly, but if one did not know this fact, it could be assumed that they are violent after watching them play Halo. I have noticed that games today have become increasingly more violent in nature. It seems to be a trend in society today and could be the cause of more angry teenagers. This is just my thought, of course, but I don't understand why video games must be so violent and what the appeal off blowing someone's head off or "spawn raping" them is.

Yet another reason may be the fact that men are known to love guns, as opposed to women. I know that my boyfriend loves guns and weapons in general. Games such as Halo are known for their weapons. The sniper rifle, a favorite of the boys at this party, is in high demand and often fought over during games. This love of weaponry may be due to the part of men that naturally want to protect their family or team. Or, perhaps, it is because men wish to display dominancy. Better guns, or better proficiency with guns allows them to do this. I have heard many guys boasting about their abilities in games such as Halo with different guns and have heard many different preferences (by the way, my favorite is the Needler). No matter the preference, a guy shows his abilities by how well he performs with this weapon and many times a guy will play until he has mastered the use of said gun.

It is a known fact that the people of my generation (Generation Y as I was informed by my sister the other day) are EXTREMELY connected through many different mediums now: the Internet, texting, chat sites, gaming sites, networking sited, etc. However, although we are so connected, we are the most disconnected generation in regard to person-to-person contact. There are so many ways to communicate with our fellow human beings that does not require human contact that we prefer to keep it very impersonal. Everyone knows that our generation is very lazy, well I think we're a bit smart too. I mean, if no one expects us to have "normal" social interaction, why would we? We have learned how to best utilize the technology presented to us. Had it not been presented to us, we wouldn't have it to exploit. But, back to the original topic. Not only can guys display domincancy and be violent towards virtual humans, but they can talk to teammates and other people around the world through Xbox Live. Be you the local idiot or the city genius, you can chat with the people you are slaying and the people protecting you. It is the perfect way to never leave your mother's basement, yet still have social interaction. Because, let's face it, humans are social creatures, and even video game nerds need to have SOME human interaction (though I'm sure it would never be with a girl, ever).

I don't know about any of you, but I often find myself easily bored. What better way to relieve boredom than a favorite pasttime?? Unfortunately, America's pasttime has began to move to those that involve the television or computer screen. In correlation with this shift, many people have picked up video games as their preferred pasttime. Based on my own experience and watching others play, it is easy to lose oneself in a game. Time seems to fly (as well as brain cells die) when focussed on a tv screen, engrossed in a game. Hours can pass that feel like minutes. With the proper conditioning (and attention span-which I lack) one could spend all day flicking ones thumbs and staring at a screen. The problem seems to be that no guy has a better pasttime (well....not entirely true, but for many, that requires a girl, which is scientifically impossible to obtain without leaving the basement and entering the real world) than video games. It is an issue that plagues the young male population of this nation.

Whatever the attraction is, I do not think I will ever completely understand the attraction of video games to the male gender. I'm sure my efforts are futile. But, I hope that I at least got a smile out of you readers at least once throughout my thinking aloud and semi-rant. Zachary, if you're reading this, don't feel bad. You're a guy...it's in your genes.

A World With You

I would feel lost in a sea of confusion in a world without you
My heart an endless ocean of sorrow.
My soul would be a wintery forest
Awaiting the promise of sunshine on the morrow.

I would forever long for your smile
That raises me from the depths of despair.
Within your embrace I find your boundless love,
And I find myself surrounded in adoration there.

I desire to be showered by your devotion
And to feel your passion.
To grow steadily more in love with you
Because of your amazing compassion.

A world without you would be no world for me.

You're the one for me, no one else.
My heart sings knowing you are mine.
I want to hold you and be yours and only yours
Until the end of time.

Your tears fill my heart with love
Seeing you with emotion is like lighting a fire in my soul.
I love you more with each passing day.
Your eternal happiness is my one life goal.

I would want to be nowhere else than holding you
And drying your tears from your handsome face.
Kissing away your liquid joy
Comforting you with my warm embrace.

I long to snuggle into your chest
And to feel safe, warm, and loved.
Knowing that I belong to you, and you to me
Is the greatest gift from above.

I ache to see your smile, your eyes light up and your adorable blush.
To feel your happiness radiate from you.
It brightens my day every time
And more of my heart melts in your hand too.

You are the only man in the world to me.

You're everything I've ever wanted
Everything I've hoped for, and everything I need,
Yet, nothing I deserve.
But with you is the only place I want to be.

You are the most wonderful thing that has every happened to me
And are perfect for me in every way.
And I grow to love you more and more my Zachary
Each and every day!

I love you Zachary Andrew Parker,

with all my heart.

You are my life, my world, my happiness and my joy.

I miss you terribly

and can't wait to be reunited once again!

P.S. I love you!