Boys and Video Games

So it has been like forever since I've posted on here. Life has caught up with me and I was super busy until school got out...and let's face it, I completely forgot to document my pathetic life on here. So I'll give a quick summary of everything since my last post then get on with the real theme of this post:

So I ended winter term with a 4.0, my first EVER at OSU :) and started Spring term with great difficulty. I had issues with a professor in one of my classes and found out that if I dropped the class I would lose my scholarship if I didn't pick up one more credit. So I ended up with only 12 credits and 3 PE classes to fill up my schedule. Microbiology was pretty cool with all of the labs, and my lab partner K'Dean and I rocked the place! Biochemistry was interesting in itself because my professor often sang songs that he'd written. Now, don't get me wrong, the class was hard as hell with 3 tests and a cummulative final. But somehow (divine intervention maybe?) I managed to get an A and seal another 4.0 :) After the year ended, I got to spend a much needed break with Zach (yep, we're still dating, celebrated 10 months a few weeks ago and are still going strong, in case you were wondering) and for my birthday he took us boogie boarding (it was AWESOME!); as well as hunt for a job. I have recently accepted a combining job for a family friend and am hoping to also get hired on at Red Robin in the next week or so.

Now that we're all caught up, on to the original post topic: Boys and Video Games!

The other night I found myself accompanying Zach to (yet another) Halo party with friends and I found myself wondering, what is the appeal of video games to boys? Granted, I do enjoy video games now and again, but the ones I choose are not single person shooters such as Halo. I personally enjoy the Fables. Is it, perhaps, that it is not acceptable for men to show violence in today's society so they must take out those urges in video games? It is often very loud at these parties with exclamations such as: "BOOM! Headshot!" or "Double Kill!" that it makes one wonder if these seemingly tame men are in fact serial killers at heart or have violent tendencies. I know for a fact that the boys I was watching play are very sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly, but if one did not know this fact, it could be assumed that they are violent after watching them play Halo. I have noticed that games today have become increasingly more violent in nature. It seems to be a trend in society today and could be the cause of more angry teenagers. This is just my thought, of course, but I don't understand why video games must be so violent and what the appeal off blowing someone's head off or "spawn raping" them is.

Yet another reason may be the fact that men are known to love guns, as opposed to women. I know that my boyfriend loves guns and weapons in general. Games such as Halo are known for their weapons. The sniper rifle, a favorite of the boys at this party, is in high demand and often fought over during games. This love of weaponry may be due to the part of men that naturally want to protect their family or team. Or, perhaps, it is because men wish to display dominancy. Better guns, or better proficiency with guns allows them to do this. I have heard many guys boasting about their abilities in games such as Halo with different guns and have heard many different preferences (by the way, my favorite is the Needler). No matter the preference, a guy shows his abilities by how well he performs with this weapon and many times a guy will play until he has mastered the use of said gun.

It is a known fact that the people of my generation (Generation Y as I was informed by my sister the other day) are EXTREMELY connected through many different mediums now: the Internet, texting, chat sites, gaming sites, networking sited, etc. However, although we are so connected, we are the most disconnected generation in regard to person-to-person contact. There are so many ways to communicate with our fellow human beings that does not require human contact that we prefer to keep it very impersonal. Everyone knows that our generation is very lazy, well I think we're a bit smart too. I mean, if no one expects us to have "normal" social interaction, why would we? We have learned how to best utilize the technology presented to us. Had it not been presented to us, we wouldn't have it to exploit. But, back to the original topic. Not only can guys display domincancy and be violent towards virtual humans, but they can talk to teammates and other people around the world through Xbox Live. Be you the local idiot or the city genius, you can chat with the people you are slaying and the people protecting you. It is the perfect way to never leave your mother's basement, yet still have social interaction. Because, let's face it, humans are social creatures, and even video game nerds need to have SOME human interaction (though I'm sure it would never be with a girl, ever).

I don't know about any of you, but I often find myself easily bored. What better way to relieve boredom than a favorite pasttime?? Unfortunately, America's pasttime has began to move to those that involve the television or computer screen. In correlation with this shift, many people have picked up video games as their preferred pasttime. Based on my own experience and watching others play, it is easy to lose oneself in a game. Time seems to fly (as well as brain cells die) when focussed on a tv screen, engrossed in a game. Hours can pass that feel like minutes. With the proper conditioning (and attention span-which I lack) one could spend all day flicking ones thumbs and staring at a screen. The problem seems to be that no guy has a better pasttime (well....not entirely true, but for many, that requires a girl, which is scientifically impossible to obtain without leaving the basement and entering the real world) than video games. It is an issue that plagues the young male population of this nation.

Whatever the attraction is, I do not think I will ever completely understand the attraction of video games to the male gender. I'm sure my efforts are futile. But, I hope that I at least got a smile out of you readers at least once throughout my thinking aloud and semi-rant. Zachary, if you're reading this, don't feel bad. You're a guy...it's in your genes.

My study poem

Well, I'm sitting on campus bored, and I should be studying. But do I want to? Noooooooo! So I decided to write this little poem to ease my boredom and it pertains to a class...so it counts, right?

Reactions, Reactions, Reactions

Organic chemistry, how I loathe thee

Everytime you show yourself.

Your mechanisms and bonds and molecules

Make my life a living hell.

Yet though I hate you

With more passion known to man,

With the help of this poem

An A on this midterm I will land.

SN1 substitution reactions are a thorn in my side

With their special reaction rates.

With two steps and rearrangements possible,

An alkyl halide they make.

SN2 reactions are similar, but slightly more simple

Than those of SN1.

With only 1 step and 1 simple product

My work is quickly done.

When identifying the type of reaction

Remember this simple rule:

SN1 is a poor nucleophile, and SN2 anionic and good.

This is your greatest tool.

Alkane reactions are simple

And even sometimes fun.

But when alkenes undergo elminination

Their double bonds come undone.

When dealing with elimination reactions
Zaitzev's Rule is applied.
Take from the beta-hydrogen with the least H's
And a good grade on your midterm, you will not be denied.

E1 elimination reactions

Also have a multiple step rate.

Removing beta-hydrogens

An alkene product they make.

E2 elimination reactions, as with SN2

Are more simply done.

With one single step, and a (usually) predictable product

These reactions could be considered fun.

E1 and E2 reactions

Have something special one must keep in mind:

Different isomers are possible,

Cis and trans being those two kinds.

Cis has the highest priority groups

On the "z"ame side.

Trans has them opposite

Clearly as a result of pride.

There is one special rule

When dealing with E2,

If only one beta-hydrogen exists

Only one isomer exists too.

Cycloalkanes are cool

And special too

In E1 the leaving group can be equatorial

But must be axial in E2.

When identifying the type of reaction
Remember this simple rule:
E1 uses triethylamine (NEt3), and E2 a small/bulky base and its solvent.
This is another great tool.

Addition reactions of alkenes

Are more complicated still.

With unsaturated molecules,

Their bonds you will fill.

With Alkene reactions,

Markovnikov's rule is put into place:

The electrophile adds to the carbon with the greater number of H's

And every exam you will ace.

The addition of a hydrogen halide

Is simply seen.

Through hydrohalegenation

An alkyl halide is derived from an alkene.

Through the addition of water

With a acid catalyst's aid,

An alkene goes to an alcohol,

And a alkane product is made.

When an alcohol is added to an alkene

With an acid catalyst as well,

An ether product is formed,

And it's easy to tell.

With the addition of a halogen,

Using dichloromethane,

Halogenation reveals a vicinal dihalide

And an intermediate ion that is in one plane.

And finally....

In Oymercuration-Reduction

Water is added in

With no rearrangements possible,

The product is easy to pin.

When taking an organic chemistry exam,

Always keep this in mind:

Just relax, you know more than you think you know,

And you'll do just fine!

Can It Get Any Better??

Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged. You all must have been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to tell you about my pathetic (or not so pathetic) life! Well, I'm here to quench your thirst and to stop the suspense. Are you ready? Here we go!

Well, this past week started off with Organic Chemistry and Math as usual. On Mondays my professor, Dr. Myles, posts a quiz that opens at 10AM and must be completed by 5PM on Friday. When did I get mine done? At approximately 7:42:15 PST on Monday evening. Okay, I haven't a clue the exact time I finished it, the point is that I finished on Monday evening. And who got 100%? That's right, me! The girl that was so stressed and was not looking forward to O-chem. I'm grabbing it by the horns (or perhaps, bonds??) and am running with it. I'm even ahead on my math homework, life is looking up in that regard!

Work on Tuesday night was fairly uneventful. No falling and spilling dishes everywhere, much to the dismay of my co-worker, Aaron J. He was so hoping to have another laugh at my expense, or perhaps with me. One usually doesn't laugh when they are injured until after the fact and they've iced their wounds and are through being sore. Such was the case with me last Tuesday. Either way, I was fairly safe and even managed to get out at a fairly early time. It was a good night!

Wednesday was an amazing day! I did NOT want to stay for the entire day. 11-5. No sir!! So I decided to leave my O-chem recitation early, skip Nutrition 104 and go to my girls' volleyball game in the Burg. I busted butt across campus, drove home and made it to the game. I walk in the gym (am complimented on my attire by my entire team), talk to the other coach, turn around and who walks in? My amazing boyfriend, Zach. The sweetheart had decided to surprise me. And me, being blonde on the inside, and apparently blind, had no idea that his car had been sitting right outside. Just goes to show you that I was solely focussed on volleyball. Most girls get that way when they go to a makeup counter or the trendy clothing store. Tunnel vision on their favorite items. A nuclear war could be going on around them and all they would see are the skinny medium denim washed jeans that were $49.99 now marked down to $29.95. (But I'll never find a deal like this again!!) Yeah, that's how I felt about the game that day. I kinda ruined his surprise by not noticing him, but he being the loving boyfriend that he is, quickly forgave me and watched me coach my game. And believe it or not, my team won! It was a glorious day! Afterwards, Zach and I went out to dinner at the local Chinese food restaurant. The little turd made me eat some hot sauce. Thought my face was going to melt off!! So I sought revenge and smeared copious amounts of our pumpkin pie blizzard in his face. Karma I say! We rounded off the night with a delightful children's movie. For what better way to end a night than a good ol' kid movie? Nothing if you ask me!

Thursday was fairly uneventful. For some reason I struggled in my volleyball class, but that's to be expected every now and then. I was merely wishing for time to race by faster so that I could spend the weekend with my love on Friday. Friday rolled around and my lectures went by mercifully fast and I was on my way to Shaw! For reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, I was to be at Zach's by 2:30 and no later. Well, no problem, I thought. I arrived at his house around 2:00, let myself in, and got to work on my O-chem homework (like the overachieving, Type A, OCD person that I am). Next thing I knew, Zach's parents were getting me all bundled up and ushering me out the door. I was SO confused! I'm not from the Salem area, so as we were driving, and I was chatting with Sherri, I had absolutely no idea where they were taking me. They could have been taking me to a temple and offering me as a virgin sacrifice for all I knew. I was confused because I had expected Zach to be home at 2:50, yet here we were, driving away from the house. It was a "What the hell is going on??" moment. We pulled up by the Lancaster Mall and I went from confused to completely and utterly lost. As we drove around by the theater, I saw my handsome man standing outside, then I knew what was going down. What I didn't know, was that he had remembered that I had said quite some time ago that I wanted to see Secretariat when it came out. What an awesome boyfriend I have! It was a wonderful surprise, and I felt like the luckiest woman alive at the moment!

Saturday dawned and we spent most of the morning snuggling together, until be both decided that our mutual need for food was much greater than our need to be snuggling with one another. Gotta have your priorities straight! My stomach said that it didn't give a rat's butt about Zach, it just wanted to be fed. And unfortunately, at one point that overruled my head and heart and I was ravenous. I was like a fat kid when he sees a twinkie truck...no one could deter me from food! Luckily Zach's dad must have sensed my impending hunt for food and made me pancakes. Oh my how they hit the spot! After breakfast (which took place at noon!) we sat around because we couldn't figure out what to do. It seemed like the argument of the weeked in the family was going to be the paint color for the living room. The green did not suit Sherri, but she could not fid a color that she really liked that complimented the furniture and lighting. Of course, the guys had their own opinion. But everyone knows that girls have to stick together, so my mission was to help pick out a color. Which I eventually succeeded with. We're girls, we do that! So Zach and I watched his mom paing until Zach suggested going to Silver Falls. I'd never been before, so it sounded like a wonderful idea to me! What a wonderful place! I had an amazing time! The waterfalls were exceptionally beautiful:

what a long hike though! I discovered that I am sorely out of shape and need to workout. Perhaps I'll start doing that. Or perhaps I'll just continue to bitch and moan about how I look and how out of shape I am and refuse to workout, as usual and as is how a typical American is. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea to me! Who wants to break stereotypes anyway?? Why do you think they're there? To be followed!! And if I broke stereotype, I wouldn't be considered American. I must to everything the American way...bigger!! Anyway...it was an amazing spontaneous activity and I had a wonderful time. We got some amazing pictures together; it was very romantic.

You can't really see his face, but there is my handsome, sweet, caring, amazing, wonderful, compassionate, tender, and loving boyfriend: Zach. The man who holds my heart, my love. He never ceases to amaze me. I know a lot of my posts contain something about him, but he's just so important to me and truly makes me happy. Something I haven't really been in quite some time. It's so refreshing to be able to smile almost every day just knowing that he is mine and I am his. To know the feeling of being safe, warm and loved in someone's embrace. It's an amazing feeling and one that I wouldn't trade for the world. I don't plan on letting this one get away from me. And you all can mark my words. Someday, he's going to be mine forever, and then I'll never have to say goodbye to him after a weekend together. I can wake up looking into his eyes, knowing that I am loved unconditionally for forever an always. I cannot wait until that day...

Now getting away from the mushy stuff (which I do love by the way, but I have to appeal to all of my audiences, as a good writer does...but who says I'm a good writer??). After returning from Silver Falls, we enjoyed pizza and sat in the hot tub for quite some time and just talked, which is always to easy to do around him. Another thing I love! And we ended the night once again with a movie. I decided to stay another night because I just couldn't bring myself to say goodbye quite yet. So I got up early, my man made me breakfast (French toast...which seems to be a regular breakfast for us now) and I got on the road. It always kills me to say goodbye. Not to mention it was raining and I despise the rain! I live in Oregon, one of the States that receives the most rainfall and I detest the liquid from the sky! Yet, I still choose to live here. What's wrong with me????

I went to work at 11:30 and it was super slow. Not to mention I didn't feel well one bit. So my wonderful manager took pity on me and sent me home where I proceeded to work on O-chem homework (for those of you that don't remember, it was the homework I had started on Friday at Zach's before my surprise) and finished my math homework as well. In addition, I booked a room at OSU for my jewlery party on the 20th after like 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to do so...I must be too stupid to figure out how OSU works! Either that, or I'm too smart because they write directions for idiots. Either way, I eventually figured it out.

Now I'm in a predicament as to what I want to do the rest of the night. I know a shower is on the agenda, but I think I may continue to reminisce about my amazing week and weekend and hope that this week and weekend are even better!

My dearest Zachary,

I know you'll read this like the amazing boyfriend that you are. I just want you to know that I love you and I miss you. And that wherever I am, know that I am thinking of you and loving you with all of my heart. Thank you for such an amazing week and weekend. I look forward to spending many more with you. This blog is dedicated to you, my love!

A Day of Angst

Warning: The following post may contain anger and unhappiness towards the world

How was my day today, you ask?? Oh simply splendid my dears, just splendid! For those of you who didn't catch it, that last statement was completely sarcastic and untrue. I had one of those days where it starts off fairly well and it seems like a precurser to a fantastic day, but it's all a lie. Like on Christmas, where you see a huge box and you're thinking it's the karoake machine you've been begging your parents for and you open it up and it's just a pair of socks cruely disguised. That was my day. Let the tale begin....

How I woke up should have been indication to how this day was going to go. I had my alarm set for 8:50am so I could be up by 9. I tend to hit my snooze button twice before getting up, so I set my alarm to accommodate for that. I was woken up by a text, at 8:06, from Kat asking me if I was going to the game this weekend (OSU is playing ASU at home). Well, going back to sleep was impossible after that so I decided to get up and start getting ready. I needed to get a parking pass, so I figured it was all good. I dressed and did my hair and makeup with the following results:

I felt like I looked decent so I thought today would be a great day. Well I got to campus and went straight to the Transit and Parking Services office. I waited in line for 15 minutes before arriving at the counter. I told the lady that I'd sent my application for a permit in and she looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "Oh!" she said like she'd never heard of such a thing, or perhaps she just wasn't used to Type A overachievers such as myself. Either way, I found it odd. She came back and said she couldn't find my application. That confused and upset me as I know I sent it in. But, fortunately, she was nice about it and just had me fill out a portion of the form and gave me my parking pass--which cost me $186!

I left Adams Hall (where TAPS is located) and went to find a parking spot in my usual lot. What do I find? A full lot. "No matter" thought I, I'll just drive to the back of the lot, there's always spots there. Do I find any? No. There are none to be found...ANYWHERE! I drove around for 15 minutes trying to find a spot. Finally, I flip a u-turn in the middle of 15th St and whip into a metered parking spot. The bad? The meter is only for 2 hours. It's 10:44. I have a class at 11 and noon. There is no way I'm making it back in time before the meter expires. But do I care at this point? No. This bears saying: I'm not wearing great walking shoes. I was wearing leather boots with fur inner lining with a heel. So I'm practically sprinting across campus to make it to Organic Chemistry on time. By the time I reach my class, with two minutes to spare, my feet are one massive blister. Walking back to my car after my last class was literally a pain.

I left school at 1:15 after waiting in line for a football ticket, to a game which I will probably not go! I got home and did some chemistry review work. It wasn't much of a review seeing as I did not know how to do about half of it. That looks promising for me, no?? Felt like a champ! After completing the problems, I left for my horrible volleyball game. From the minute I walked in the gym, the referee seemed to have it out for me. She disrespected my position as coach, looked down upon me because of my age, and was just downright rude. I'm a passive aggressive person. It takes a lot to piss me off, but boy was she good at it. It didn't help that I was already stressed and not in a good mood, but she really knew how to shorten my fuse. I nearly went off on her. I've never been so mad after a game, even when I played! And I got intense when I played. It took me hours to calm down.

This day was just full of anger, angst, and stress. It has really taken its toll on me. I was exhausted at about 7:30. Those negative feelings really affect a person. You don't realize how much until you just want to lay on the floor, curl into a ball and rock back and forth. I felt so helpless today, like I'd fallen into a well and was slowly drowning while the world watched and some poured water on top of me. It's an awful feeling. Even Zach had trouble cheering me up. I was really down in the dumps today. It's really hard to get out of that rut once you've fallen in. It's like the saying "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Except, I'm not an old lady that's broken her hip, but you get the point.

The positive of my day? I went to another jewlery party at Debbie's house. I'd seen the show yesterday, but it was still fun to see it again, and watch Debbie excel at her first presentation. I simply love that jewlery, and MUST have some at one point. Thank goodness I'm hosting my own party in October! That house always seems to relax me. I love it there!

So while my day was mostly negative, it ended on a positive which is where I'm hoping tomorrow will start and stay even though I have to work. I'm really hoping to not have another negative day tomorrow. I can't take many of those. They wear a person out quickly. But it is time for me to say goodnight and go to bed soon. I have a class at 9 tomorrow, I have to be up by 7. Yay me!

All of My Strength

**CAUTION: Sappy possible teenage love stuff **

You have been warned!

So today I spent all day with my boyfriend Zach. He arrived at my house at approximately 9:10am and we were off to Monmouth to meet up with a friend, Erik. The drive was pleasant, beside the fact that I seem to get stuck behind slow drivers the ENTIRE time! I'm obviously not a patient driver. But I did enjoy listening to "our" song together: For The Longest Time by Billy Joel, and just talking about this, that and everything. It has always been very easy to talk to him about anything. It's a nice change from my ex. Hanging out with Erik was very fun, because I haven't seen him in like 2 months and Zach likes him, which is a plus. He tends to be protective, but with good reason.

After our visit with Erik, I needed to make a trip to the OSU Bookstore, so once again, I drug Zach with me. He didn't really seem to mind, as long as he got to spend every moment with me. I got to see another one of my friends, Kaylee, whom I haven't seen since the 4th grade at Girl Scout camp. Yes, I am a Girl Scout. No, I cannot tie knots. Yes, I can build fires. Yes, I sold cookies...and I was badass at it too! Be jealous! Anyway, we drove her around Corvallis, stopped at Jamba Juice, and then I took Zach to his first Adult Shop just for the hell of it. It was an interesting experience. At least the guy at the counter was really cool and we had a delightful chat for about 20 min before some random guy came in and started hitting on me, to which Zach's reaction was to tell the guy off and we left!

The drive home was fairly quiet....and I got stuck behind a damn truck on the way home. Fricken Safeway trucks....gah! But we once again listened to music, which is a favorite pasttime of ours. And upon our arrival home, I showed him this blog. He couldn't really understand why I liked blogging so much until he read my posts. He really enjoyed them! Home didn't last long as I quickly changed and headed off to the gym for my volleyball game.

Zach was great! He helped set everything up and got roped into running the clock for the game. I felt bad that he was having to do so much work for me when he came down to actually spend time with me. But again, he never complained and was always smiling at me. Warming up the girls today was great fun. I got to pepper with them and was diving for balls and selling out. It felt like old times. Supposedly the referee was checking me out. What's new? Seriously. The girls played fairly well (no boys this time...that must have made the difference!) and I was proud of their performance.

So for dinner we had pizza, then went on a walk, then watched The Duchess. I know I've ranted before on how skinny certain women are, but Keira Knightley is one of these women. She's just disgustingly skinny! She has no boobs either. Can you seriously tell me that a woman like this is desireable? One wrong move and the guy could snap her in half! Guess she's gonna have to be on top in any relationship! But honestly, it disgusts me. Yet, at the same time this image of women is promoted worldwide and it is hard for "normal" women to accept their "imperfect" bodies based on these standards. I, for one, can never hope to be a size 0. It's just not going to happen, no matter what I do. Nor can I be 5' 10", no matter how hard I try. Does that mean that I accept my body? Certainly not. I know that I should, but when Hollywood tells me that the ideal woman has no curves...it's kinda depressing. Those are the women that land the hot and sweet guy. Those women look nothing like me. So do I have a chance? Well I think I do, deep down I know I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I still have to look at that everyday.

It's always sad when Zach has to leave. I never want to let go as I'm standing by his car (which is damn sexy....what girl doesn't love a red convertable Camaro????). It's always "one more kiss...okay, make that like 3!" I always worry about him when he leaves so down. I worry that something will happen to him on his way home...it makes it hard for me to wind down to go to bed, but it's worth waiting. Something just tells me to not let this one go. I've never really felt that before. He texted me as he is on his way home saying "it takes all of my strength to leave you," hence where the title of this blog comes in. It takes all of my strength to let him leave. It takes all of my strength not to careen out of control on Love's highway...to stay rational and keep my head. I want to make sure that it's truly what I feel. He's just so sweet that it's nearly impossible not to fall more and more head over heels for him each day! It's sometimes frightening, but sometimes the best things in life are. It takes all of my strength to fall in love with someone I never thought I'd get and someone I don't feel I deserve. It takes all of my strength to hold his heart close and never let go. But it takes no strength at all to be myself and enjoy my time with him. For that, I am eternally greatful to him.

Well, now that I've written a semi-depressing/sappy/lovey/insightful/wise blog, I think I'm going to turn in for the night. It's 12:11am here and it's not like I have anything to get up for, so I'm thinking a good 10+ hours of sleep will do me good. Now to just wait for the text from Zach saying "I'm home"

So good night all! Sweet dreams!