All of My Strength

**CAUTION: Sappy possible teenage love stuff **

You have been warned!

So today I spent all day with my boyfriend Zach. He arrived at my house at approximately 9:10am and we were off to Monmouth to meet up with a friend, Erik. The drive was pleasant, beside the fact that I seem to get stuck behind slow drivers the ENTIRE time! I'm obviously not a patient driver. But I did enjoy listening to "our" song together: For The Longest Time by Billy Joel, and just talking about this, that and everything. It has always been very easy to talk to him about anything. It's a nice change from my ex. Hanging out with Erik was very fun, because I haven't seen him in like 2 months and Zach likes him, which is a plus. He tends to be protective, but with good reason.

After our visit with Erik, I needed to make a trip to the OSU Bookstore, so once again, I drug Zach with me. He didn't really seem to mind, as long as he got to spend every moment with me. I got to see another one of my friends, Kaylee, whom I haven't seen since the 4th grade at Girl Scout camp. Yes, I am a Girl Scout. No, I cannot tie knots. Yes, I can build fires. Yes, I sold cookies...and I was badass at it too! Be jealous! Anyway, we drove her around Corvallis, stopped at Jamba Juice, and then I took Zach to his first Adult Shop just for the hell of it. It was an interesting experience. At least the guy at the counter was really cool and we had a delightful chat for about 20 min before some random guy came in and started hitting on me, to which Zach's reaction was to tell the guy off and we left!

The drive home was fairly quiet....and I got stuck behind a damn truck on the way home. Fricken Safeway trucks....gah! But we once again listened to music, which is a favorite pasttime of ours. And upon our arrival home, I showed him this blog. He couldn't really understand why I liked blogging so much until he read my posts. He really enjoyed them! Home didn't last long as I quickly changed and headed off to the gym for my volleyball game.

Zach was great! He helped set everything up and got roped into running the clock for the game. I felt bad that he was having to do so much work for me when he came down to actually spend time with me. But again, he never complained and was always smiling at me. Warming up the girls today was great fun. I got to pepper with them and was diving for balls and selling out. It felt like old times. Supposedly the referee was checking me out. What's new? Seriously. The girls played fairly well (no boys this time...that must have made the difference!) and I was proud of their performance.

So for dinner we had pizza, then went on a walk, then watched The Duchess. I know I've ranted before on how skinny certain women are, but Keira Knightley is one of these women. She's just disgustingly skinny! She has no boobs either. Can you seriously tell me that a woman like this is desireable? One wrong move and the guy could snap her in half! Guess she's gonna have to be on top in any relationship! But honestly, it disgusts me. Yet, at the same time this image of women is promoted worldwide and it is hard for "normal" women to accept their "imperfect" bodies based on these standards. I, for one, can never hope to be a size 0. It's just not going to happen, no matter what I do. Nor can I be 5' 10", no matter how hard I try. Does that mean that I accept my body? Certainly not. I know that I should, but when Hollywood tells me that the ideal woman has no curves...it's kinda depressing. Those are the women that land the hot and sweet guy. Those women look nothing like me. So do I have a chance? Well I think I do, deep down I know I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I still have to look at that everyday.

It's always sad when Zach has to leave. I never want to let go as I'm standing by his car (which is damn sexy....what girl doesn't love a red convertable Camaro????). It's always "one more kiss...okay, make that like 3!" I always worry about him when he leaves so down. I worry that something will happen to him on his way home...it makes it hard for me to wind down to go to bed, but it's worth waiting. Something just tells me to not let this one go. I've never really felt that before. He texted me as he is on his way home saying "it takes all of my strength to leave you," hence where the title of this blog comes in. It takes all of my strength to let him leave. It takes all of my strength not to careen out of control on Love's highway...to stay rational and keep my head. I want to make sure that it's truly what I feel. He's just so sweet that it's nearly impossible not to fall more and more head over heels for him each day! It's sometimes frightening, but sometimes the best things in life are. It takes all of my strength to fall in love with someone I never thought I'd get and someone I don't feel I deserve. It takes all of my strength to hold his heart close and never let go. But it takes no strength at all to be myself and enjoy my time with him. For that, I am eternally greatful to him.

Well, now that I've written a semi-depressing/sappy/lovey/insightful/wise blog, I think I'm going to turn in for the night. It's 12:11am here and it's not like I have anything to get up for, so I'm thinking a good 10+ hours of sleep will do me good. Now to just wait for the text from Zach saying "I'm home"

So good night all! Sweet dreams!