Boys and Video Games

So it has been like forever since I've posted on here. Life has caught up with me and I was super busy until school got out...and let's face it, I completely forgot to document my pathetic life on here. So I'll give a quick summary of everything since my last post then get on with the real theme of this post:

So I ended winter term with a 4.0, my first EVER at OSU :) and started Spring term with great difficulty. I had issues with a professor in one of my classes and found out that if I dropped the class I would lose my scholarship if I didn't pick up one more credit. So I ended up with only 12 credits and 3 PE classes to fill up my schedule. Microbiology was pretty cool with all of the labs, and my lab partner K'Dean and I rocked the place! Biochemistry was interesting in itself because my professor often sang songs that he'd written. Now, don't get me wrong, the class was hard as hell with 3 tests and a cummulative final. But somehow (divine intervention maybe?) I managed to get an A and seal another 4.0 :) After the year ended, I got to spend a much needed break with Zach (yep, we're still dating, celebrated 10 months a few weeks ago and are still going strong, in case you were wondering) and for my birthday he took us boogie boarding (it was AWESOME!); as well as hunt for a job. I have recently accepted a combining job for a family friend and am hoping to also get hired on at Red Robin in the next week or so.

Now that we're all caught up, on to the original post topic: Boys and Video Games!

The other night I found myself accompanying Zach to (yet another) Halo party with friends and I found myself wondering, what is the appeal of video games to boys? Granted, I do enjoy video games now and again, but the ones I choose are not single person shooters such as Halo. I personally enjoy the Fables. Is it, perhaps, that it is not acceptable for men to show violence in today's society so they must take out those urges in video games? It is often very loud at these parties with exclamations such as: "BOOM! Headshot!" or "Double Kill!" that it makes one wonder if these seemingly tame men are in fact serial killers at heart or have violent tendencies. I know for a fact that the boys I was watching play are very sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly, but if one did not know this fact, it could be assumed that they are violent after watching them play Halo. I have noticed that games today have become increasingly more violent in nature. It seems to be a trend in society today and could be the cause of more angry teenagers. This is just my thought, of course, but I don't understand why video games must be so violent and what the appeal off blowing someone's head off or "spawn raping" them is.

Yet another reason may be the fact that men are known to love guns, as opposed to women. I know that my boyfriend loves guns and weapons in general. Games such as Halo are known for their weapons. The sniper rifle, a favorite of the boys at this party, is in high demand and often fought over during games. This love of weaponry may be due to the part of men that naturally want to protect their family or team. Or, perhaps, it is because men wish to display dominancy. Better guns, or better proficiency with guns allows them to do this. I have heard many guys boasting about their abilities in games such as Halo with different guns and have heard many different preferences (by the way, my favorite is the Needler). No matter the preference, a guy shows his abilities by how well he performs with this weapon and many times a guy will play until he has mastered the use of said gun.

It is a known fact that the people of my generation (Generation Y as I was informed by my sister the other day) are EXTREMELY connected through many different mediums now: the Internet, texting, chat sites, gaming sites, networking sited, etc. However, although we are so connected, we are the most disconnected generation in regard to person-to-person contact. There are so many ways to communicate with our fellow human beings that does not require human contact that we prefer to keep it very impersonal. Everyone knows that our generation is very lazy, well I think we're a bit smart too. I mean, if no one expects us to have "normal" social interaction, why would we? We have learned how to best utilize the technology presented to us. Had it not been presented to us, we wouldn't have it to exploit. But, back to the original topic. Not only can guys display domincancy and be violent towards virtual humans, but they can talk to teammates and other people around the world through Xbox Live. Be you the local idiot or the city genius, you can chat with the people you are slaying and the people protecting you. It is the perfect way to never leave your mother's basement, yet still have social interaction. Because, let's face it, humans are social creatures, and even video game nerds need to have SOME human interaction (though I'm sure it would never be with a girl, ever).

I don't know about any of you, but I often find myself easily bored. What better way to relieve boredom than a favorite pasttime?? Unfortunately, America's pasttime has began to move to those that involve the television or computer screen. In correlation with this shift, many people have picked up video games as their preferred pasttime. Based on my own experience and watching others play, it is easy to lose oneself in a game. Time seems to fly (as well as brain cells die) when focussed on a tv screen, engrossed in a game. Hours can pass that feel like minutes. With the proper conditioning (and attention span-which I lack) one could spend all day flicking ones thumbs and staring at a screen. The problem seems to be that no guy has a better pasttime (well....not entirely true, but for many, that requires a girl, which is scientifically impossible to obtain without leaving the basement and entering the real world) than video games. It is an issue that plagues the young male population of this nation.

Whatever the attraction is, I do not think I will ever completely understand the attraction of video games to the male gender. I'm sure my efforts are futile. But, I hope that I at least got a smile out of you readers at least once throughout my thinking aloud and semi-rant. Zachary, if you're reading this, don't feel bad. You're a guy...it's in your genes.

A World With You

I would feel lost in a sea of confusion in a world without you
My heart an endless ocean of sorrow.
My soul would be a wintery forest
Awaiting the promise of sunshine on the morrow.

I would forever long for your smile
That raises me from the depths of despair.
Within your embrace I find your boundless love,
And I find myself surrounded in adoration there.

I desire to be showered by your devotion
And to feel your passion.
To grow steadily more in love with you
Because of your amazing compassion.

A world without you would be no world for me.

You're the one for me, no one else.
My heart sings knowing you are mine.
I want to hold you and be yours and only yours
Until the end of time.

Your tears fill my heart with love
Seeing you with emotion is like lighting a fire in my soul.
I love you more with each passing day.
Your eternal happiness is my one life goal.

I would want to be nowhere else than holding you
And drying your tears from your handsome face.
Kissing away your liquid joy
Comforting you with my warm embrace.

I long to snuggle into your chest
And to feel safe, warm, and loved.
Knowing that I belong to you, and you to me
Is the greatest gift from above.

I ache to see your smile, your eyes light up and your adorable blush.
To feel your happiness radiate from you.
It brightens my day every time
And more of my heart melts in your hand too.

You are the only man in the world to me.

You're everything I've ever wanted
Everything I've hoped for, and everything I need,
Yet, nothing I deserve.
But with you is the only place I want to be.

You are the most wonderful thing that has every happened to me
And are perfect for me in every way.
And I grow to love you more and more my Zachary
Each and every day!

I love you Zachary Andrew Parker,

with all my heart.

You are my life, my world, my happiness and my joy.

I miss you terribly

and can't wait to be reunited once again!

P.S. I love you!

A Weekend of Turkey and Gluttony

Everyone loves Thanksgiving! It's a holiday full of family, friends, giving thanks, and best of all: amazing food! I know my favorite food is hard to choose. But, every Thanksgiving, the following can always be found on my plate: stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, and green bean casserole. The first three items are all smothered in turkey gravy. I'm odd though and my food cannot be touching when on my plate. I know that it's all going to the same place, but I don't want to taste jello on my potatoes. The two just don't go together, and their tastes don't combine well. Call me weird! As a child, I must have had a hollow leg and a crazy metabolism (or so I hoped) because I could put away at least 3 plates of food! Alas, now I can only handle one. And this Thanksgiving, I was only halfway through my plate when I began to feel full. Perhaps that was because of the homemade Chex mix I ate? I don't think so.

In my family we rotate families to celebrate Thanksgiving with. This year it was my mom's family in Eugene. I was a tad disappointed because I enjoy my dad's side of the family very much, but I'll get to see them at Christmas, maybe. This holiday, however, was slightly different than usual. I had a boyfriend to consider. He wanted to spend the holiday with me and vice versa. The problem? We live an hour apart and our dinners were at the same time (3-3:30ish) and were an hour and a half apart. Big problem. Thankfully, Zach's mother (whom I now love more than ever) suggested that I come up a day early and spend time with the family and then we'd leave after Zach's extended family arrived, therefore, we both spent time with both families. So Zach and I left the booming town of Shaw at about 1:45 on Thursday and made our way down to Eugene and had dinner with my family. I swear that my grandparents must love him or something. Even more than my parents! My grandpa called him "Big Man" (something reserved for my father) and grandma gave him a hug, thanked him for coming, and even remembered his name! I'm pretty sure Zach was very flattered. If only my parents could return that same welcome and goodbye. I hope one day they do.

Little did Zach and I know, but our Black Friday shopping experience was going to start sooner than we realized. I'd planned on being ridiculously crazy, getting up at 3 and being in town by 4. Did that happen? Nope! I was in town by 11:45 Thursday night! Walmart opened up it's sale at 12:01, so you can bet that I was in line vying for deals along with the whole city of Eugene, I swear! From Walmart we proceeded to Kohls to wait in line with Debbie Kelson. Boy was it cold! Thank goodness I have a portable heater, aka Zachary Parker! My man is great at keeping me warm, and is a great snuggle buddy! Girls, I don't share, and yes, I do bite! Kohls was crazy once inside, the line wrapped around the whole store. I sent Zach ahead to wait in line at Target which opened at 4 am, an hour after Kohls. After making my purchases, I ran to Target, found him in line and we went inside. Both of us were on a mission, so we split up and met up again later. According to Zach, he witnessed two people fighting over a last video game. Shouting took place and poor frightened Zach dashed away to find me. Hopefully now he sees how insane people are when the really really want that "great" deal on an item that will be even cheaper in the Day After Christmas sale. Way to go folks! The line in Target was even worse! Thankfully, the employees were really efficient and we made it through the line in no time. From Target, our next stop was JCPenny. Unfortunately, the suit jacket I wanted to buy for Zach was nowhere to be found, it was depressing. So our next stop was Game Stop in the mall where my frugal boyfriend found an even greater deal than the one we'd just found at Target, so it was back to Target we went to return the game. Our final stop of the morning was Fred Meyers. As with JCPenny, this stop was also a fail as the jewlers did not have a watch band to replace the one that Zach had broken. So we left in defeat and journeyed home. I'd tell you all what I purchased at each stop, but then your presents wouldn't be a surprise, now would they?? I ended up going to sleep at 8 am and waking up at 10. It was a LONG day. An eventful and fun one, but long and exhausting!

So I've told you about the "turkey" part of my weekend, but where is the "gluttony" you might ask? Well you could say that shopping on Black Friday could be considered gluttony, but the part that I would define as gluttony would be the part where I never really left Zach's side. This is because next week is Dead week and the week after is Finals week. My policy is that the entire week of dead week and that weekend before finals is totally dedicated to studying. I lock myself in my room that weekend and study like crazy. It's how I do well on my finals (in general). So that means no boyfriend time for almost 2 weeks, because I have a final that Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It really sucks, but I have to keep my priorities straight. School is top priority right now, even though in my heart my Zachary always comes first. It really is hard, but one day I'll marry that man and I won't have to worry about not seeing him for large periods of time. But for now, I'll have to live with the separation. I view it as a good thing because our time together after the separation will be even more special! The next time I get to see him, he'll be a groomsman in his best friend's wedding. So I'm excited for that!

Well, I have to get up early tomorrow morning. I'm going to try to get Civil War tickets so I can see the top ranked Ducks beat the Beavs hardcore! And since I'm a student, I can get tickets for free! But I have to get in line early to do so. I have no idea what I'm going to do after waiting in line, since my first class doesn't start until 11. But I'll figure out something. So I better get to bed soon sice 5:30 will come sooner than I think!

Catching Up

Wow! Has it really been 3 weeks since I've written on here? Holy cow it's been awhile. I guess I've just gotten so busy in real life that I haven't had time to entertain you all with the thrilling tales of my day to day existence. In that case, I've got a lot of catching up to do....

Let's see, my last entry was on October 17th...what's happened since then?? Well, for starters, I've had 3 midterms: 1 math, 1 nutrition, and 1 organic chemistry. Let's start with math, since it came first. My math teacher is pretty much a featherbrained platinum blonde with a high voice and a lisp....kinda annoying! Anyway, she finally posted a midterm review like the Friday before our midterm (which are always on Tuesdays for that class). I got started on Sunday night and knew right away that I was screwed. It is usually not a good sign when you look at a practice midterm and have no idea what you are trying to solve for, or even how to solve the problem. Needless to say I was in a pickle and starting to panic. So what do I do? Call Zach! His brother is a math genius...he'll help me! Wes was a gigantic help and in no time at all I was done with the review and before I knew it, Tuesday had rolled around and my midterm was upon me. As soon as I sit down in my seat and await the start of the exam, the guy next to me turns and begins a conversation like I've known him forever. I've never seen this guy in my life! Yet he rattled on like we were old friends...I guess some people are just uber friendly or this was his subtle way of hitting on me. Either or, I was weirded out. But after finishing my test, I felt pretty damn good. And my score proved it: 90%. It is now apparent that I have multiple reasons to date Zach now. 1) his charm 2) his dashing looks 3) his loyalty, honor, kindness, and overall personality and 4) his brother Wes! Good reasons in my opinion!

My next midterm was my nutrition midterm the week after math. I spent the weekend before at Zach's. Zach and his dad went hunting that Saturday morning so I decided to utilize my time and study for nutrition by taking a butt load of notes. Now that's dedication! I felt very confident in my knowledge for that midterm...so I was a little disappointed when I only ended up getting like an 87-88%. It's nothing to sneeze at, but I was still frustrated with myself. Simple mistakes, I assume. I wish that could be said for my organic chemistry midterm. I went in feeling very good about this midterm too. But as soon as I saw that test, my heart sank, my mind shut down and I began to turn on panic mode. I left that exam room feeling absolutely awful! I stayed at Zach's that weekend too and had him look up my score for me: 79%...the class average, but not my usual par. Needless to say I was a little disappointed, but at least I didn't fail as I had feared.

After my chem midterm, I headed up to Western Oregon University for their Halloween Dance, a tradition of sorts. I attended last years' and had a blast. This time, I took a date with me: Zach. We both dressed up at vampires/pirates. I, in my corset, a ruffly black top, leggings, and boots and Zach in a ruffly white top, a vest, black pants, and long black boots. We made quite the stunning couple and I got tons of compliments on my outfit! I spent the night at my friend Kate's house and then went to school the next morning. After school, I picked up my unbiological sister Jenny and we both went to the Celtic Thunder concert! Oh my gosh! It was so much fun, and the music was amazing! Right after that, I drove straight up to Shaw, changed into my costume, and went to a Halloween party with Zach. The weekend was spent watching movies, carving pumpkins (which he made me gut...something I've hated since childhood), dinner out, and trick-or-treating. It also happened to be our 2 month anniversary on the 30th. Love you baby!

This past week has been a rough week. I haven't been sleeping well, I found out I have another math midterm this coming Tuesday, and my classes are all moving super fast with the material. This weekend was welcomed, even though Zach spent the weekend down here. It's always rough...but we made a pumpkin cheesecake, which turned out beautifully! We watched the Duck game, and today spent time with my second family. We even had a heart to heart talk and I got out some emotional baggage of my own. It's great to be able to trust him with that stuff. It's a nice and welcomed change from the past...

But, now it's time for me to get some sleep...I need to really get some good sleep for the coming weeks. They're gonna be long...

Date Night

Remember those times in high school where you'd dress up for the dance, go out with your date and just have fun? Well who says those times have to end when you reach college??? I say that I can dress up and go out whenever I damn well please! And so, that's what Zach and I did Saturday night. Commence the weekend tale......

This weekend was Zach's weekend to come down to my house to stay the night. He arrived Friday night. Little did he know that I had plans in store for us. I took us up to Skinner's Butte in Eugene. I was warned ahead of time to go up when it was still light out, for it is not located in the best part of town...aka pot-smoking, tree-hugging, crystal meth tweaker central. Nevertheless, with my big hunking man to protect me, I had no fear of the drug dealing Eugenians. I found a random trail and we proceeded to hike. We ended up at the bottom and Zach gave me a piggy-back ride all the way back to the top. What a trooper! We then watched the sunset together, me cuddled up next to him with his jacket on (I was cold! As usual). It was very romantic. I also presented him with a card. This card was just a tangible, written version of my feelings for Zach. My dear Zachary. I thought he was going to cry.....I know I almost did. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Friday evening. We even finished off the night with my favorite Disney movie: Beauty and the Beast!

Saturday dawned and I woke up and made my love waffles....from scratch! Not just any waffles. Chocolate chip waffles!!! They were delicious, I must say. We then ventured to Bimart and Safeway for some grocery runs (including finding him white underwear...the purpose of which will be revealed later). Then came the best part. My second mother, Debbie was kind enough to do my hair...as usual and help dress me up with her wonderful jewlery that she sells. Premier Designs: you are like my new hero! I felt like a million bucks!

Doesn't he look great??? I LOVE his white suit! Not many guys can pull it off, but mine sure can! I felt so lucky to have such an amazing looking date by my side! We had to many amazing pictures taken before we even left.

What a keeper right? Just the look on his face is enough to see how much he loves me. It never ceases to amaze me. And how he's holding me with such care. Debbie did an amazing job taking these pictures! Thanks so much Debbie!! (I know you're probably reading this)

So we went out to Olive Garden, shared soup, salad, and breadsticks, spinach and artichoke dip and a lemonade. It was so romantic. The funniest thing was that we were called Mr. and Mrs. Parker by the hostess. It was really odd. Just because I had a ring on my ring finger doesn't mean I'm married. Especially since the ring did look fake, at least in my eyes. But I suppose at a distance one could be mistaken. But do I look old enough to marry??? (that's a rhetorical question by the way....) Dinner was super good and I had an amazing time, as I knew I would! The best part? Sitting next to my love and looking into his eyes and seeing the emotions there. Knowing that this is actually something real. Something I've never experienced. That was my favorite part. We had planned on going to Sweet Life, but you know what Zach said? He said he'd just rather go back to the house and have snuggle time. Awwwwwwwwww! What a perfect guy! I'm a snuggle whore so of course I couldn't say no! Especially since we snuggled while watching The Princess Bride. Best. Movie. Ever. Period. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" .....I just had to! You know you were expecting it...don't lie!

It's always a hard thing when he has to leave. I nearly burst into tears this time. It feels like a part of me is missing in his absense. Like there is a hole that can't be filled. Luckily, this time, he left me his quilt, so I can imagine his arms wrapped around me like the warmth of the quilt. It's a comforting thought. I don't know if I'll ever give it back. Sorry babe!

My night was filled with math. Lucky for me, Zach's oldest brother, Wes was willing to help me. Love you Wes!! And I eventually got through it. Hopefully some of it sticks with me, or I'm screwed on my midterm coming up on Tuesday. Please God help me get through it. And since my brain is like dead, I'm exhausted and I think it's time for me to head to bed. I may be getting sick, so I need my sleep. Good night all!!

My love; my Zachary,

You're probably reading this again, and I want to thank you for being the wonderful you and the amazing boyfriend that you are. I am truly in love with my best friend and it feels amazing. I could not ask for more. Once again, this post is dedicated to you, my love. My heart is and will always be forever yours.

Can It Get Any Better??

Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged. You all must have been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to tell you about my pathetic (or not so pathetic) life! Well, I'm here to quench your thirst and to stop the suspense. Are you ready? Here we go!

Well, this past week started off with Organic Chemistry and Math as usual. On Mondays my professor, Dr. Myles, posts a quiz that opens at 10AM and must be completed by 5PM on Friday. When did I get mine done? At approximately 7:42:15 PST on Monday evening. Okay, I haven't a clue the exact time I finished it, the point is that I finished on Monday evening. And who got 100%? That's right, me! The girl that was so stressed and was not looking forward to O-chem. I'm grabbing it by the horns (or perhaps, bonds??) and am running with it. I'm even ahead on my math homework, life is looking up in that regard!

Work on Tuesday night was fairly uneventful. No falling and spilling dishes everywhere, much to the dismay of my co-worker, Aaron J. He was so hoping to have another laugh at my expense, or perhaps with me. One usually doesn't laugh when they are injured until after the fact and they've iced their wounds and are through being sore. Such was the case with me last Tuesday. Either way, I was fairly safe and even managed to get out at a fairly early time. It was a good night!

Wednesday was an amazing day! I did NOT want to stay for the entire day. 11-5. No sir!! So I decided to leave my O-chem recitation early, skip Nutrition 104 and go to my girls' volleyball game in the Burg. I busted butt across campus, drove home and made it to the game. I walk in the gym (am complimented on my attire by my entire team), talk to the other coach, turn around and who walks in? My amazing boyfriend, Zach. The sweetheart had decided to surprise me. And me, being blonde on the inside, and apparently blind, had no idea that his car had been sitting right outside. Just goes to show you that I was solely focussed on volleyball. Most girls get that way when they go to a makeup counter or the trendy clothing store. Tunnel vision on their favorite items. A nuclear war could be going on around them and all they would see are the skinny medium denim washed jeans that were $49.99 now marked down to $29.95. (But I'll never find a deal like this again!!) Yeah, that's how I felt about the game that day. I kinda ruined his surprise by not noticing him, but he being the loving boyfriend that he is, quickly forgave me and watched me coach my game. And believe it or not, my team won! It was a glorious day! Afterwards, Zach and I went out to dinner at the local Chinese food restaurant. The little turd made me eat some hot sauce. Thought my face was going to melt off!! So I sought revenge and smeared copious amounts of our pumpkin pie blizzard in his face. Karma I say! We rounded off the night with a delightful children's movie. For what better way to end a night than a good ol' kid movie? Nothing if you ask me!

Thursday was fairly uneventful. For some reason I struggled in my volleyball class, but that's to be expected every now and then. I was merely wishing for time to race by faster so that I could spend the weekend with my love on Friday. Friday rolled around and my lectures went by mercifully fast and I was on my way to Shaw! For reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, I was to be at Zach's by 2:30 and no later. Well, no problem, I thought. I arrived at his house around 2:00, let myself in, and got to work on my O-chem homework (like the overachieving, Type A, OCD person that I am). Next thing I knew, Zach's parents were getting me all bundled up and ushering me out the door. I was SO confused! I'm not from the Salem area, so as we were driving, and I was chatting with Sherri, I had absolutely no idea where they were taking me. They could have been taking me to a temple and offering me as a virgin sacrifice for all I knew. I was confused because I had expected Zach to be home at 2:50, yet here we were, driving away from the house. It was a "What the hell is going on??" moment. We pulled up by the Lancaster Mall and I went from confused to completely and utterly lost. As we drove around by the theater, I saw my handsome man standing outside, then I knew what was going down. What I didn't know, was that he had remembered that I had said quite some time ago that I wanted to see Secretariat when it came out. What an awesome boyfriend I have! It was a wonderful surprise, and I felt like the luckiest woman alive at the moment!

Saturday dawned and we spent most of the morning snuggling together, until be both decided that our mutual need for food was much greater than our need to be snuggling with one another. Gotta have your priorities straight! My stomach said that it didn't give a rat's butt about Zach, it just wanted to be fed. And unfortunately, at one point that overruled my head and heart and I was ravenous. I was like a fat kid when he sees a twinkie truck...no one could deter me from food! Luckily Zach's dad must have sensed my impending hunt for food and made me pancakes. Oh my how they hit the spot! After breakfast (which took place at noon!) we sat around because we couldn't figure out what to do. It seemed like the argument of the weeked in the family was going to be the paint color for the living room. The green did not suit Sherri, but she could not fid a color that she really liked that complimented the furniture and lighting. Of course, the guys had their own opinion. But everyone knows that girls have to stick together, so my mission was to help pick out a color. Which I eventually succeeded with. We're girls, we do that! So Zach and I watched his mom paing until Zach suggested going to Silver Falls. I'd never been before, so it sounded like a wonderful idea to me! What a wonderful place! I had an amazing time! The waterfalls were exceptionally beautiful:

what a long hike though! I discovered that I am sorely out of shape and need to workout. Perhaps I'll start doing that. Or perhaps I'll just continue to bitch and moan about how I look and how out of shape I am and refuse to workout, as usual and as is how a typical American is. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea to me! Who wants to break stereotypes anyway?? Why do you think they're there? To be followed!! And if I broke stereotype, I wouldn't be considered American. I must to everything the American way...bigger!! Anyway...it was an amazing spontaneous activity and I had a wonderful time. We got some amazing pictures together; it was very romantic.

You can't really see his face, but there is my handsome, sweet, caring, amazing, wonderful, compassionate, tender, and loving boyfriend: Zach. The man who holds my heart, my love. He never ceases to amaze me. I know a lot of my posts contain something about him, but he's just so important to me and truly makes me happy. Something I haven't really been in quite some time. It's so refreshing to be able to smile almost every day just knowing that he is mine and I am his. To know the feeling of being safe, warm and loved in someone's embrace. It's an amazing feeling and one that I wouldn't trade for the world. I don't plan on letting this one get away from me. And you all can mark my words. Someday, he's going to be mine forever, and then I'll never have to say goodbye to him after a weekend together. I can wake up looking into his eyes, knowing that I am loved unconditionally for forever an always. I cannot wait until that day...

Now getting away from the mushy stuff (which I do love by the way, but I have to appeal to all of my audiences, as a good writer does...but who says I'm a good writer??). After returning from Silver Falls, we enjoyed pizza and sat in the hot tub for quite some time and just talked, which is always to easy to do around him. Another thing I love! And we ended the night once again with a movie. I decided to stay another night because I just couldn't bring myself to say goodbye quite yet. So I got up early, my man made me breakfast (French toast...which seems to be a regular breakfast for us now) and I got on the road. It always kills me to say goodbye. Not to mention it was raining and I despise the rain! I live in Oregon, one of the States that receives the most rainfall and I detest the liquid from the sky! Yet, I still choose to live here. What's wrong with me????

I went to work at 11:30 and it was super slow. Not to mention I didn't feel well one bit. So my wonderful manager took pity on me and sent me home where I proceeded to work on O-chem homework (for those of you that don't remember, it was the homework I had started on Friday at Zach's before my surprise) and finished my math homework as well. In addition, I booked a room at OSU for my jewlery party on the 20th after like 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to do so...I must be too stupid to figure out how OSU works! Either that, or I'm too smart because they write directions for idiots. Either way, I eventually figured it out.

Now I'm in a predicament as to what I want to do the rest of the night. I know a shower is on the agenda, but I think I may continue to reminisce about my amazing week and weekend and hope that this week and weekend are even better!

My dearest Zachary,

I know you'll read this like the amazing boyfriend that you are. I just want you to know that I love you and I miss you. And that wherever I am, know that I am thinking of you and loving you with all of my heart. Thank you for such an amazing week and weekend. I look forward to spending many more with you. This blog is dedicated to you, my love!

Weekend of All Weekends

Wow, what a weekend! I know people probably say that all the time, but my weekend was amazing! Not only did I finish all of my homework prior to it's beginning (someone write that on the calendar!) but Zach got to come down! Our one month anniversary was Thursday. I can't believe it's been a month already. It has flown by, yet it seems like we've been together for ages. That's probably because we've known each other for a year and were friends first. Something just feels so right with him, it sounds odd, but to me, our future looks bright.

Friday just seemed to pass by uber slowly. Doesn't time always do that when you are anticipating something big? Yeah, that happened to me. Zach was coming down after he was done with class at 2:20. I finish class at 1 on Fridays. So I went home and started on my math homework. That class makes me feel like a dunce. I haven't taken math since junior year, so I'm a tad rusty. And I don't like feeling stupid. But surprisingly, I finished my homework in record time, and found it quite simple! Perhaps Zach should come down more often, if not just to make me finish my homework more quickly! So after I finished math, I took notes for my nutrition class. Call me a nerd, but I don't mind doing this. Reading the textbook has never been so enjoyable! We haven't even started the chapter I'm taking notes on...overachiever much? Yeah, I think so. So this is what I did until Zach arrived. As soon as he pulled up the books went away and I ran and lept into his arms. To my surprise he brought me a rose and chocolate. What a sweetheart! We then went out to dinner for our anniversary, and he drove, in his SEXY car--a 1995 bright red convertible Chevy Camaro. Oh my gosh...that car is amazing! I love it!!!!!

After dinner, I drug him to my high school's football game where the poor guy had to sit through watching me play in the pep band. He's such a trooper! Of course, he got the privelage of warming me up after the game with a movie and some cuddling. In the morning, I made him breakfast and kicked his butt on the Wii! Following video games, I decided to go get my ears pierced. He held my hand the entire time, even though I felt like a wuss. But my ears look pretty! The day just seemed to speed by. We watched the Duck game with my family, which was actually one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend. It was great family time with the most important people in my life. We watched Avatar then it was time for him to leave: the hardest part of the weekend. It took all of my strength to let go and walk back up to the house. It hurt to hear him driving away, knowing it would be another week before I see him again. I still miss him like crazy and have all day today, but I know that it will be amazing when I get to see him again and I look forward to it as each day passes.

All sentiments aside, I think it may be time for me to turn in for the night. The sooner I go to bed, the sooner tomorrow gets here, and the sooner the weekend gets here when I get to see him again. So good night all!

Zach, if you're reading this, I miss you like crazy and I love you so much!

Stress, Stress, Stress

Well, tomorrow is the start of my second year at Oregon State. And obviously, I really don't want to go. I spent a good part of my evening looking at different classes to take. I was getting really stressed out...6 classes with Organic Chemistry? That's just crazy talk! So needless to say, I dropped 2 classes, but picked up 1, so I am now taking 13 credits. I feel like a total slacker, but hell, I'm taking 300-level chemistry as a sophomore! That's gotta count for something. I don't want to overload myself. I operate with my stress level in the danger zone. If my stress level was the nation's terror level, people would be running around like chickens with their heads cut off, storing guns, and preparing for another 9/11 attack at any moment. Yeah, that's how stressed I constantly am.

The worst part about going back to school is how much of a chunk out of my social life it takes. I was really enjoying the summer. This has been the best of my life so far. I'm young, energetic, gaining confidence, and was just having fun with friends. I got out of a bad relationship, and at the end of the summer, got into a new and MUCH better one. This summer went from horrible, thinking my life was going to end, to great and never been happier. So in other words, I've had a totally bipolar and skitzophrenic vacation, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. My friend, Kate, and I grew closer and I gained necessary self-confidence. I'm not nearly where I need to be, but I'm well on my way. I don't want this small chapter of my life to end, but apparently, the author of my life thought it necessary to change the scene. So college, here I come!

No one likes the weekend before school is about to start. It's kinda depressing as you're mentally preparing yourself for daily boredom, maximum stress levels, sitting in an uber uncomfortable desk all day, and listening to a professor drone on and on about something that you never had an interest in learning, but have to simply because it's a required class because for some reason, someone somewhere decided that I have to have a very well rounded education; why I have to study literature as a Pre-Dietetics major, I'll never know. My weekend-before-school, however, was simply amazing! Yesterday (Saturday) I got up at 6:20am---yes AM!---to make it up to Shaw by 8:30 to meet Zach so we could go to the mall to meet his friend Kevin at 9. Kevin is 18 and is marrying his 22 year-old fiancee in December. A little young, in my opinion, but to each their own. So I was the only girl with 3 guys trying to help them pick out a tie. Yeah, fun stuff. You can imagine my annoyance when they guys wouldn't settle on a color. It was supposed to be silver. Once the color was established, it was thin or thick...my goodness.

After the tie-excursion, Zach took me shopping. We ended up going into a jewlery store in which I fell in love with a ring I tried on. It felt like I'd sold my soul and it was being slowly ripped out as I handed that ring back to the sale's lady. Unfortunately, it was $560. Fortunately, there was a sale going on in which it was $250. The downside? Zach and I have only been dating for close to a month. The sale ended today. It was downright depressing. Part of my being died....over a ring. Sad, I know. But I fell in love with that thing, and I'm NOT a ring person. So that's big for me. I had a grand time at the mall, though. It was fun just walking around with my handsome boyfriend, both of us dressed up and people giving jealous looks. It was great! We ended up going out to a movie with his mom and cousin: Easy A. That movie was amazing!!! I could totally relate to the main character...although, not to being accused of being a slut. That much, I'm innocent of. But I loved the humor, and how blunt the main actress was. She did a fantastic job! After our movie, I had planned on going home, but could not bring myself to do so. So I stayed the night once again, and his mom put me in her "fairy rooom." I felt like I was imposing, but she always assures me that I'm not. I love his family! They make me feel so at home. I left his house in the early afternoon after he made me brunch. What a sweetheart! And it was actually edible! A bonus! It felt like I left a piece of me behind as I drove off...

I got home and went to a jewlery party in which I won free stuff. Free is always good. And I booked a party, so I get to experience it even more! It was just so much fun! What girl doesn't like jewlery?? A dumb question, I know. I'm very excited to have my party and I'm sure my college girlfriends will appreciate it as well. I also got to see Kate again today after about 16 days in Hawaii. How I missed that girl! We're definitely going to hang out a lot during school. It just wouldn't be the same without her.

Well, now that I've recounted my fantabulous weekend, the stress is setting back in. I'm still trying to pick out my "first day of school outfit" as it is practically the most important thing about tomorrow. I have to make a good first impression. It seems so middle school, but even in college, it is still true. You haven't seen your friends in ages, so you have to look good, right?? So I'm going to go finish that, then retire to bed early. I need my sleep for school, then my middle school team's volleyball game tomorrow.

So until I write again, goodnight, and good luck to all you college students out there!

All of My Strength

**CAUTION: Sappy possible teenage love stuff **

You have been warned!

So today I spent all day with my boyfriend Zach. He arrived at my house at approximately 9:10am and we were off to Monmouth to meet up with a friend, Erik. The drive was pleasant, beside the fact that I seem to get stuck behind slow drivers the ENTIRE time! I'm obviously not a patient driver. But I did enjoy listening to "our" song together: For The Longest Time by Billy Joel, and just talking about this, that and everything. It has always been very easy to talk to him about anything. It's a nice change from my ex. Hanging out with Erik was very fun, because I haven't seen him in like 2 months and Zach likes him, which is a plus. He tends to be protective, but with good reason.

After our visit with Erik, I needed to make a trip to the OSU Bookstore, so once again, I drug Zach with me. He didn't really seem to mind, as long as he got to spend every moment with me. I got to see another one of my friends, Kaylee, whom I haven't seen since the 4th grade at Girl Scout camp. Yes, I am a Girl Scout. No, I cannot tie knots. Yes, I can build fires. Yes, I sold cookies...and I was badass at it too! Be jealous! Anyway, we drove her around Corvallis, stopped at Jamba Juice, and then I took Zach to his first Adult Shop just for the hell of it. It was an interesting experience. At least the guy at the counter was really cool and we had a delightful chat for about 20 min before some random guy came in and started hitting on me, to which Zach's reaction was to tell the guy off and we left!

The drive home was fairly quiet....and I got stuck behind a damn truck on the way home. Fricken Safeway trucks....gah! But we once again listened to music, which is a favorite pasttime of ours. And upon our arrival home, I showed him this blog. He couldn't really understand why I liked blogging so much until he read my posts. He really enjoyed them! Home didn't last long as I quickly changed and headed off to the gym for my volleyball game.

Zach was great! He helped set everything up and got roped into running the clock for the game. I felt bad that he was having to do so much work for me when he came down to actually spend time with me. But again, he never complained and was always smiling at me. Warming up the girls today was great fun. I got to pepper with them and was diving for balls and selling out. It felt like old times. Supposedly the referee was checking me out. What's new? Seriously. The girls played fairly well (no boys this time...that must have made the difference!) and I was proud of their performance.

So for dinner we had pizza, then went on a walk, then watched The Duchess. I know I've ranted before on how skinny certain women are, but Keira Knightley is one of these women. She's just disgustingly skinny! She has no boobs either. Can you seriously tell me that a woman like this is desireable? One wrong move and the guy could snap her in half! Guess she's gonna have to be on top in any relationship! But honestly, it disgusts me. Yet, at the same time this image of women is promoted worldwide and it is hard for "normal" women to accept their "imperfect" bodies based on these standards. I, for one, can never hope to be a size 0. It's just not going to happen, no matter what I do. Nor can I be 5' 10", no matter how hard I try. Does that mean that I accept my body? Certainly not. I know that I should, but when Hollywood tells me that the ideal woman has no curves...it's kinda depressing. Those are the women that land the hot and sweet guy. Those women look nothing like me. So do I have a chance? Well I think I do, deep down I know I do, but that doesn't change the fact that I still have to look at that everyday.

It's always sad when Zach has to leave. I never want to let go as I'm standing by his car (which is damn sexy....what girl doesn't love a red convertable Camaro????). It's always "one more kiss...okay, make that like 3!" I always worry about him when he leaves so down. I worry that something will happen to him on his way home...it makes it hard for me to wind down to go to bed, but it's worth waiting. Something just tells me to not let this one go. I've never really felt that before. He texted me as he is on his way home saying "it takes all of my strength to leave you," hence where the title of this blog comes in. It takes all of my strength to let him leave. It takes all of my strength not to careen out of control on Love's highway...to stay rational and keep my head. I want to make sure that it's truly what I feel. He's just so sweet that it's nearly impossible not to fall more and more head over heels for him each day! It's sometimes frightening, but sometimes the best things in life are. It takes all of my strength to fall in love with someone I never thought I'd get and someone I don't feel I deserve. It takes all of my strength to hold his heart close and never let go. But it takes no strength at all to be myself and enjoy my time with him. For that, I am eternally greatful to him.

Well, now that I've written a semi-depressing/sappy/lovey/insightful/wise blog, I think I'm going to turn in for the night. It's 12:11am here and it's not like I have anything to get up for, so I'm thinking a good 10+ hours of sleep will do me good. Now to just wait for the text from Zach saying "I'm home"

So good night all! Sweet dreams!

In the Beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth"...oh wait....

Apparently this is the beginning of my blog. As the title suggests, these posts will be just about the day in the life of a 19 year-old college aged woman who either has nothing better to do, or thinks that you people will enjoy reading about her and her unfortunate, or perhaps fortuante, happenings. Who wouldn't be interested in that?? I'll admit, I stole this idea from my cousin, but I take credit for all that is put on here.

So I suppose I should fascinate you all with tales of my day.

Well, to begin with, I woke to find myself in the house of my boyfriend, Zach. We've only been dating for 3 weeks, and yet, it feels like much longer. Is it possible to fall for someone so quickly? Or am I under some spell and has he gone all "Harry Potter" on me? Although the latter sounds awesome, I'm assuming that the first is correct. Anyway, I had spent the night in his parent's guest room, which is totally adorable (his mom is way into fairies). The night before, we had watched Letters to Juliet with his parents, which surprisingly, it's always fun watching movies with them. Someone quote me on this! This morning, we watched a couple movies, as usual, and made ourselves some brunch (at 12:20 mind you!). I must admit, his cullinary skills are improving, although he is sometimes too stubborn to let me help in the kitchen. Isn't the kitchen a woman's place? Unfortunately I had to leave at 1:30 as I had a volleyball game (no, I don't play, I coach at the middle school level). The girls did not play very well, and seem to have an obsession with middle school-aged football players. I'll never understand it, nor did I ever think I'd give "the boy talk" at my young age.

And as I prattle on and on about my day, I find myself growing weary of typing and filling your minds with meaningless rambling. So I think it is time for me to either curl up with my romance novel, aka word porn, or perhaps some Pirates of the Caribbean. I am, after all, American and technically still a teenager, so I should poison my mind with meaningless violence and sex in order to keep up appearences. Right?

So until I write again, I bid you readers, adieu!