History Matters: Learn From It!

I am officially in half-mourning today. As everyone in the U.S. (and probably the world) knows, we re-elected Barack Obama as our President. While I consider myself to be conservative, I am more upset by the fact that the policies and ideology that I wanted in office were not elected. Do I think Mitt Romney was the answer? Maybe not. Do I think Obama is the answer? Hell no! In my opninion, he had his chance to "Change" things. Sure, things in this country changed, but was it for the better? That's what we need to ask ourselves.

When I look back over the last 4 years, the only improvements I've seen in my and the country's situtation has been in the last year? Why you may ask? Well, in my opinion, the positive change that has been happening up until this point has been because Mr. President wishes to be re-elected. He has been heavily pushing through bills and his budget. Keep in mind, that the first budget proposal he issued, when he had a Democratic-controlled Congress, was rejected completely. By BOTH sides!

Changes in Life as I Know It

I realize that my posts lately have been philosophical in nature (at least I like to think so) and come off as really serious. Well, life can be serious sometimes. It can be fun at times when we take trips with our families or hang out with friends (as I'm doing tonight). Life can be awful at times, like when you lose a loved one, a friend, or you're just having a rotten day. Life can also be scary, as it is a little bit right now for me. I have recently become engaged and will be embarking on a path to the unknown. Yet, at the same time, life can be peaceful and even exciting. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with this man, my new fiance. There is a certain peace in that, as well as excitement to see what the future might hold and of course to have our wedding. But even in my excitement, change is a scary thing. Not just the change in my marital status, but change in my life status.

"Contemplating changes in life as I now know it."

It feels like yesterday that I graduated from high school! There I was, just having given my Valedictorian speech with my best friend at the time, thinking about the future which seemed so far off; taking pictures with friends who I thought I would keep in touch with and hang out with often. Celebrating with family who were congratulatory and very generous monetarily. There were relatives to hug, food to eat, pictures to take, a grad party to go to; all of these things fueled my excitement for a day that I did not want to end. I had worked hard in high school and deserved a little celebration. Sure there was some nostalgia and a little sadness at the fact that I would be leaving behind sports and some friends that were younger than me. But I was excited. College was new, people wouldn't know me there, and it was the start of my future adult life (which to an 18 year old is pretty darn important!).

Not once did I think about what it would feel like to be faced with the uncertainty of the world outside of school, permanently. I never thought I would change majors. I figured that I had made up my mind and that the path that I was currently on was the one I would never stray from. I never guessed that of the friends in the picture above, I would hardly keep in contact with any of them. I was not thinking about the reality that all of us would go our separate ways and become our own people outside of our little hometown of Harrisburg. We had all gone to school together for so long it didn't seem possible. No one could have convinced me that I would be sitting here right now at my computer contemplating the changes in life as I now know it.

"People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening."

I am entering my senior year of college. I have changed majors, only once; a feat that many college students would be jealous of as I believe the average amount of times students change majors is three. I feel I have found a major that I am interested in and would enjoy working in the field, yet it is not an easy one. There have been many times I have thought about giving up, that the path is much too difficult to travel on, and that I will never succeed. But I have kept plowing forward. And here I am. Only one year away from receiving my diploma and being a graduate of Oregon State University. Through my excitement, however, comes fear. Fear of the unknown; fear of the "adult world" I was so excited to join upon my graduation from high school. Fear of the desolute job market I am faced at entering; fear of failing. "People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening." And I couldn't agree more. Life was so much more blissful when I had little fear exiting high school--I had no knowledge to allow me to be so. But as I've gone through school and watch others older than me struggle through, it makes me fearful for my own fate. Fear is paralyzing.

But through my fear come age; and with age comes confidence and independence. I am now 21 years old. By no means am I old and wise or really that much older than I was; but I am 3 years older than my 18 year-old counterpart and I feel much wiser for the fact. I have had to shoulder responsibility for my education and social life, I have had to face the reality of the economy I will enter, and recently, I have had to begin to plan my new life in a new family and situation. None of it is easy, but my growing independence gives me confidence. And my successes bolster it. I have found that fear can be useful, if looked at in the proper perspective. I still struggle to loosen it's hold on me, but slowly and surely I will.

"Changes do not undermine me: they define me."

Is change really such a bad thing? I am among those that have always viewed change as the unknown and therefore to be feared. But, is it always bad? I am discovering that no, it is not. Think back: if change had been so scary, I would never have gone to college. If it were so bad, I never would have made my new friends that I have come to love and depend on.

If change were so bad, I never would have started dating Zachary and would not be joining the wonderful family that I will be (whenever we can pick a date). If I had not started dating Zach, I would never have been introduced to the fantastic world of Renaissance Faires, which I find to be so much fun! If I had not started dating Zach, I know I would not be engaged right now and would probably be single or unhappy. If I had not started dating Zach, I would not be who I am today.

If I had not have changed majors I would not be happy in school whatsoever (not that I like school, but it would have been more miserable). Changing majors had allowed me to make new friends, be engrosed in my learning, and make new connections with people in the professional world. If I had not changed majors I would not be doing my radio show: Nutrition Now. If I had not changed majors, I would feel unfulfilled.

Changes, I have found, do not undermine me: they define me. I would not be the woman I am today had it not been for change. Change is a necessary part of human life, an unavoidable aspect of life. It shapes us invisibly day by day. How we choose to respond to change is our choice. Our choice determines how we let it affect us. As I sit here typing this, I realize that I am preaching to the choir (mainly myself) and should take my own advice. And I am trying. (mostly I'm getting distracted by my waistline in my corset in the picture above...but I am trying!) Acceptance of change is difficult and I am doing my best to do so. The changes in life as I know it, really aren't so bad after all.

For more information on the Nutrition Now Radio show visit: www.facebook.com/kbvrnutritionnow 

The Proposal

Since everyone has been asking me, I thought I would blog about how Zach proposed to me!

(P.S. For those of you who for some reason didn't know, Zach and I are now engaged. YIPEEEEE!!!...now back to our scheduled programing)

I turned 21 on the 1st of June, which was during school. Zach had wanted to take me on a trip for my birthday but since he knows how Type A I am and how important my grades are to me, he respected that I didn't exactly want to take a trip with him when I had to be studying for an anatomy and physiology lab final. I tend to get cranky when I'm stressed. So he waited until a couple weeks after school (Father's Day was the weekend after finals, and as much as his dad loves me, I know he'd want his son there for his big day). I have come to discover that Zach is not very good at keeping secrets from me, so he told me where we were going beforehand. We set out on June 22, 2013.

"And so it begins..."

Our first stop on our trip was the Tillamook Cheese Factory. I am of the opinion that you can never have too much cheese, and being the awesome boyfriend that he is, Zach knows this; and since I had never been to the Cheese Factory, it was a necessary stop. I must say, the free cheese samples and the ice cream were the best part. Now, don't judge because if you went there, you'd know what I mean. The factory is kinda neat and all, but who can resist free food?? We then travelled up the road to our ultimate destination of Rockaway Beach. The weather had been crappy off and on, but thankfully it wasn't raining at this point. Lo and behold, there was a small pirate faire next to one of the main beaches in town, so of course we had to stop! We checked out the booths and then went down on the beach and drew in the sand and played in the water. We managed to find a motel that was right on the beach ($112 for one night mind you...with my AAA discount). Our room had a fantastic view though! (this would come in handy later)

For dinner that night, Zach had said he wanted to take me out to a nice restaurant. After consulting with a local at the pirate faire, we determined that the nicest place was Pirates Cove in nearby Garibaldi. In my opinion, it wasn't the nicest restaurant I've ever seen and I feel like the food was a bit overpriced, but they certainly served large portions. Zachary got BBQ swordfish that cost $26 for the plate with fries. Me, being frugal, and not wanting such a large portion, got a cup of clam chowder (I'm also not much of a seafood person...aquatic or masticated). This "cup" was the size of a cereal bowl, no joke! Delicous though. At this point, the rain was really coming down outside and I was looking forward to a relaxing night in the hotel room watching a movie or soaking in the hot tub (I think that was what was most exciting to me besides the view from our room). We got back to our room and Zach said that we were going back down to the beach. I was less than eager to tramp out into the rain and wind just because he wanted to go to the beach again. But, I relented and down we went.

"Most girls cry; not me evidently."

We walked to the beach right in front of our room (see picture) and he told me that he wanted me to write our names in the sand again. First, a stick had to be located, which proved to be a difficult and wet endeavor but at last I found a satisfactory stick. With the wind threatening to blow me over and my umbrella inside out (the latter would have upset me more), I proceeded to write our names in the, dry, sand. Needless to say it did not work well at all and I was a bit peeved that I was out in the cold and wet when I could be inside and dry. I turned around and he stepped under the umbrella. He then proceeded to tell me that his buying a motorcycle had given him the opportunity to do what he was about to do. Confused, I merely stared (or maybe glared...). He dropped down on one knee and asked if I, McKenna Marie Brown, would do him the greatest honor of marrying him. At this point, I am shocked beyond words. I had guessed this was coming after his many hints throughout the day, but even then I still wasn't prepared. Most girls cry; not me evidently. I just stood there with a shocked yet surprisingly vacant expression on my face for a few seconds; even then, words appeared to escape me as I vigorously nodded my consent rather than eloquently saying "yes" as you're supposed to do, right? Unbeknownst to us, two teenage girls were watching us from what appeared to be the room next to ours. They were clapping and cheering and yelling "congratulations" at us. It was very sweet.

"Now I have to face the reality of decision making."

I made my calls to my family members as well as his mother and mass-texted all of my friends, then made it "Facebook official." We all know that nothing in life is official until it's on Facebook. So both my phone and my Facebook page were exploding. Zach had his fair share of people to contact and congratulations offered as well. We both got to bed late that night, but it was a happy night. Even by the next morning it still hadn't set in. It's finally starting to set in. I'm still excited and love showing off my ring, but now I have to face the reality of decision making. When to have the wedding, where, how I'm going to plan, colors, dress, bridal party, on and on on on and on...decisions stress me out and according to my chiropractor, I need less stressors in my life. It's killing my back, neck and hips. Maybe I should let Zach do the planning, eh? HA! That would cause me even more stress. We've already disagreed on the color scheme I have chosen. I have a feeling it will be a long road ahead of us. But, for now, I'm going to attempt to enjoy being a newly-engaged and revel in my new relationship status and being the first Brown cousin in awhile to become engaged.

*Note these pictures were taken the day after the proposal happened*

<3Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna Marry You<3

Engaged: June 22, 2012

Wedding: TBD

Life Lessons

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn"

Life is full of trials and one does not realize just how many trials one will face when setting out from high school. Graduation is a chaotically happy time. Walking down the aisle, accepting a diploma, celebrating with classmates...no one is thinking about what comes next. Graduation parties and senior trips fill the day and the minds of gradutated seniors. None are thinking about college, except for the fact that it's the next step, one that takes them away from high school; and for many, far away from their hometown. It is a time of excitement, a time for new experiences. None of those students knows what is coming. The first day of fall term comes and freshmen are still buzzing with excitement. Maybe they've had some negative experiences with the dorms or the admissions office, but overall they are still in good spirits. But, as time wears on, they realize that the adult world is not sunshine and roses like they dreamt about in high school. Their fantasy of being independent comes around to slap them in the face. The university is not there to be their friend. They take what money they can get and cater to no one. It is a cruel awakening, but a necessary one. Life doesn't cater to you, nor does it help you up when it slams you down. Life is a bitch.

This past year has been a bit of a wake-up call for me. Still living at home has shielded me from some of the experiences I could have had to give me this wake-up call sooner. I wouldn't trade living at home for much (except maybe some needed freedom...I am chaffing and chomping at the bit a litle). But I have faced my fair share of trials this year. I am facing the possibility of having to add another year onto my education, for a total of 5 years for my Bachelor's Degree, and I am not happy about the situation. Although I am not at fault, being an adult, I must take control of the situation and do what I can to make it better. The shock of being told I have to add another year was devestating. Two of the classes I need to take fall term in order to graduate next spring were offered at the same exact time on Monday and Wednesday. Mind numb, I contacted the only person I could think of who may be able to help me. One major lesson I have learned here to to completely exhaust your options before giving up. I spoke with the director of the Dietetics program to see if there was anything we could do. I even welcomed psychological guidance. She and I concocted a scheme to contact both professors of the classes to see if I could miss a lecture a week of each. After much deliberation and anxious waiting, both professors gave me the go-ahead to register for both (with overrides) and we would look at the syllabi and determine what classes to miss. When I went to register on the 21st, I was informed that the time of one of the classes had been changed to two hours earlier in the day! Problem solved right?

Wrong. While fall term is taken care of, winter and spring term still hang in the balance. Because of my situation, I have not taken a pre-req class for a senior class I need. Well, that might not be a problem if it weren't for the fact that the professor one a spring-term senior class wouldn't have said students can not take a senior class at the same time as said pre-req. Well damn. I was ready to throw in the towel once again, but the Dietetics director told me not to give up quite yet. I have yet to meet with the professor, but she and I have talked and we will meet after the 1st of June (which is my 21st birthday!).

To quote the old cliche: "when life hands you lemons...make lemonade." This saying is so true, despite its overuse. Never give up unless you have to. My battle is not yet complete, and I may come out on the losing end in the war to graduate in 4 years. But I will not give up until I have exhausted all of my options. If I could teach high school graduates one lesson, this would be it. Never give up on anything until you have tried everything. The bolded quote above says it all.

"If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it"

I have felt pretty unhappy lately. I know a lot of couples who have recently gotten engaged and/or married. It is a huge cause for jealousy for me as I wish myself to be in their shoes. I will be the first to admit that I may have been putting too much pressure on my boyfriend to get engaged. I have even been saying that I wish to be married next August. Anymore, I feel like I have ruined the surprise, the specialness, and the experience of the whole thing. I have felt lost lately and can't seem to decide what I want anymore. I constantly feel melancholy and I know if is affecting my relationship. I am irritable (some of which is stress from the above story), quick to anger, and less and less amorous. I feel consumed by this jealousy at times. I know I should get over it, but I feel myself wishing that I was either older or in those other people's situation. How are they any different from me? What makes them better than me? All of these things run through my mind lately and it has been driving me insane.

Zach and I have gone and looked at rings together. But even then, I feel as though I carry a lot of baggage with me while we look. I look at the rings with every other girl's ring in mind, wanting to one-up all of them since my mind feels as though they have already one-upped me. I set high standards for what I want in order to live up to other girls' rings. I am also perfectionistic and I'll wear this ring for the rest of my life; I want it to be perfect. That being said, perfection is not cheap, and I have to consider that my future fiance may not want to spend $4-$6,000 on a ring. Yet, at the same time, I still cannot keep from setting those standards. I really feel as if I am not being fair to him, nor to myself. Along with other issues I am experiencing lately, I am constantly thinking about whether or not this is what I want in life. It is depressing.

This brings me to my second quote for today, bolded above. I don't like the situation, but I cannot change it; but I can change the way I think about it. I am working on thinking about the situation without considering others around me. After all, it's not about all of them. It is about Zach and I and our future together. Every girl dreams about her wedding and I am no exception to the rule. I am choosing to be excited about the prospect but not overly, as I don't want to ruin the surprise for myself. I want to be throroughly surprised and so excited about whatever ring he has decided to purchase for me. I just have to take this one step at a time and focus on what I personally need to get done until then. It's tough, but it's another lesson I have to learn.


I still have many life lessons to learn, but I'll start with these two for now. I have a 21st birthday coming up and plenty of time to learn more lessons life has to offer me.

Growing Up...Growing Older...Whatever You Want to Call It

(Yes I realize that I have been horrible about keeping up with the whole blogging thing...I have a horrid memory and I've had other more important things to do. Okay? Everyone settled? Moving on.)

So I have decided to dedicate this post to an event that no one can avoid: growing up. It happens to us all. We are born, we slowly grow, we shat ourselves until we are potty trained, we cry for what we want until we turn about 18 (okay, that's a stretch...but for some is true), we become uncoordinated as our limbs grow faster than our brains can work them, our bodies begin to change (for boys this may take some time); but it all boils down to the fact that we are growing into adult human beings. It is unavoidable, inevitable, and frankly sucks at times.

I remember as a little kid thinking that I couldn't wait to be older. I'd get to wear all the cool clothes that the big kids got to wear which were, let's face it, downright ugly by today's standards. I'd get to stay up later and watch all of the hip shows that my older friends got to watch. I'd get to learn how to drive and not have to depend on Mom to be my personal taxi service forever. I'd get to make new friends and finally have some freedom! Growing up sounded great to me. But I didn't realize all that came with it.

I started college and adult life kinda hit me in the face. Mom and Dad weren't going to pay for everything anymore. Yes, they still gave me a roof over my head and fed me. But tuition, books, clothes, etc weren't paid for anymore. Not only that, but I had to become responsible for myself and my actions. Life wasn't as simple anymore. No longer could I go to school, not pay attention, go to practice, and then come home. No, I actually had to apply myself. I had to learn how to study, and become a good test and note-taker. It hasn't been easy! I began to re-think my childhood yearning to become an adult.

Now don't get me wrong. There are great things about being an adult! I have much more freedom, the social parts are WAY better, being in college has given me the opportunity to grow, I have made many more friends, I am way more independent, and I am overall happier. I am excited for what life will bring me in the form of a job and a place to live. Being an adult can be great sometimes! With bad there is always good. A silver lining of sorts.

I just want to let all of you middle schoolers, high schoolers, and just plain ignorant people out there that being an adult takes work and responsibility. You have to be a contributing citizen. Don't go out into the adult world expecting things to be handed to you on a silver platter by a freaking Playboy Bunny (guys!!!). It doesn't work like that. Look at the economy right now. Even before this shit-storm we are in now, people had to work for what they had (unless you are like freaking Paris Hilton). The American Dream is still attainable...it just requires a little more work, that's all! My advice? Go to college. Get an education. And not some bullshit, malarky degree like Underwater Basketweaving or something that you will never find a job in. You need to find something that you enjoy, but that will also have a job (more than likely) waiting for you when you get out of college. Just be smart, try your best, and have fun! You only live once (unless you are Hindu), so live it up!

On a happier note, look at my new baby kitty!!!! Zach and I got a baby kitty last week and he is so precious. Everyone say hello to O'Malley!!

Boys and Video Games

So it has been like forever since I've posted on here. Life has caught up with me and I was super busy until school got out...and let's face it, I completely forgot to document my pathetic life on here. So I'll give a quick summary of everything since my last post then get on with the real theme of this post:

So I ended winter term with a 4.0, my first EVER at OSU :) and started Spring term with great difficulty. I had issues with a professor in one of my classes and found out that if I dropped the class I would lose my scholarship if I didn't pick up one more credit. So I ended up with only 12 credits and 3 PE classes to fill up my schedule. Microbiology was pretty cool with all of the labs, and my lab partner K'Dean and I rocked the place! Biochemistry was interesting in itself because my professor often sang songs that he'd written. Now, don't get me wrong, the class was hard as hell with 3 tests and a cummulative final. But somehow (divine intervention maybe?) I managed to get an A and seal another 4.0 :) After the year ended, I got to spend a much needed break with Zach (yep, we're still dating, celebrated 10 months a few weeks ago and are still going strong, in case you were wondering) and for my birthday he took us boogie boarding (it was AWESOME!); as well as hunt for a job. I have recently accepted a combining job for a family friend and am hoping to also get hired on at Red Robin in the next week or so.

Now that we're all caught up, on to the original post topic: Boys and Video Games!

The other night I found myself accompanying Zach to (yet another) Halo party with friends and I found myself wondering, what is the appeal of video games to boys? Granted, I do enjoy video games now and again, but the ones I choose are not single person shooters such as Halo. I personally enjoy the Fables. Is it, perhaps, that it is not acceptable for men to show violence in today's society so they must take out those urges in video games? It is often very loud at these parties with exclamations such as: "BOOM! Headshot!" or "Double Kill!" that it makes one wonder if these seemingly tame men are in fact serial killers at heart or have violent tendencies. I know for a fact that the boys I was watching play are very sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly, but if one did not know this fact, it could be assumed that they are violent after watching them play Halo. I have noticed that games today have become increasingly more violent in nature. It seems to be a trend in society today and could be the cause of more angry teenagers. This is just my thought, of course, but I don't understand why video games must be so violent and what the appeal off blowing someone's head off or "spawn raping" them is.

Yet another reason may be the fact that men are known to love guns, as opposed to women. I know that my boyfriend loves guns and weapons in general. Games such as Halo are known for their weapons. The sniper rifle, a favorite of the boys at this party, is in high demand and often fought over during games. This love of weaponry may be due to the part of men that naturally want to protect their family or team. Or, perhaps, it is because men wish to display dominancy. Better guns, or better proficiency with guns allows them to do this. I have heard many guys boasting about their abilities in games such as Halo with different guns and have heard many different preferences (by the way, my favorite is the Needler). No matter the preference, a guy shows his abilities by how well he performs with this weapon and many times a guy will play until he has mastered the use of said gun.

It is a known fact that the people of my generation (Generation Y as I was informed by my sister the other day) are EXTREMELY connected through many different mediums now: the Internet, texting, chat sites, gaming sites, networking sited, etc. However, although we are so connected, we are the most disconnected generation in regard to person-to-person contact. There are so many ways to communicate with our fellow human beings that does not require human contact that we prefer to keep it very impersonal. Everyone knows that our generation is very lazy, well I think we're a bit smart too. I mean, if no one expects us to have "normal" social interaction, why would we? We have learned how to best utilize the technology presented to us. Had it not been presented to us, we wouldn't have it to exploit. But, back to the original topic. Not only can guys display domincancy and be violent towards virtual humans, but they can talk to teammates and other people around the world through Xbox Live. Be you the local idiot or the city genius, you can chat with the people you are slaying and the people protecting you. It is the perfect way to never leave your mother's basement, yet still have social interaction. Because, let's face it, humans are social creatures, and even video game nerds need to have SOME human interaction (though I'm sure it would never be with a girl, ever).

I don't know about any of you, but I often find myself easily bored. What better way to relieve boredom than a favorite pasttime?? Unfortunately, America's pasttime has began to move to those that involve the television or computer screen. In correlation with this shift, many people have picked up video games as their preferred pasttime. Based on my own experience and watching others play, it is easy to lose oneself in a game. Time seems to fly (as well as brain cells die) when focussed on a tv screen, engrossed in a game. Hours can pass that feel like minutes. With the proper conditioning (and attention span-which I lack) one could spend all day flicking ones thumbs and staring at a screen. The problem seems to be that no guy has a better pasttime (well....not entirely true, but for many, that requires a girl, which is scientifically impossible to obtain without leaving the basement and entering the real world) than video games. It is an issue that plagues the young male population of this nation.

Whatever the attraction is, I do not think I will ever completely understand the attraction of video games to the male gender. I'm sure my efforts are futile. But, I hope that I at least got a smile out of you readers at least once throughout my thinking aloud and semi-rant. Zachary, if you're reading this, don't feel bad. You're a guy...it's in your genes.

A World With You

I would feel lost in a sea of confusion in a world without you
My heart an endless ocean of sorrow.
My soul would be a wintery forest
Awaiting the promise of sunshine on the morrow.

I would forever long for your smile
That raises me from the depths of despair.
Within your embrace I find your boundless love,
And I find myself surrounded in adoration there.

I desire to be showered by your devotion
And to feel your passion.
To grow steadily more in love with you
Because of your amazing compassion.

A world without you would be no world for me.

You're the one for me, no one else.
My heart sings knowing you are mine.
I want to hold you and be yours and only yours
Until the end of time.

Your tears fill my heart with love
Seeing you with emotion is like lighting a fire in my soul.
I love you more with each passing day.
Your eternal happiness is my one life goal.

I would want to be nowhere else than holding you
And drying your tears from your handsome face.
Kissing away your liquid joy
Comforting you with my warm embrace.

I long to snuggle into your chest
And to feel safe, warm, and loved.
Knowing that I belong to you, and you to me
Is the greatest gift from above.

I ache to see your smile, your eyes light up and your adorable blush.
To feel your happiness radiate from you.
It brightens my day every time
And more of my heart melts in your hand too.

You are the only man in the world to me.

You're everything I've ever wanted
Everything I've hoped for, and everything I need,
Yet, nothing I deserve.
But with you is the only place I want to be.

You are the most wonderful thing that has every happened to me
And are perfect for me in every way.
And I grow to love you more and more my Zachary
Each and every day!

I love you Zachary Andrew Parker,

with all my heart.

You are my life, my world, my happiness and my joy.

I miss you terribly

and can't wait to be reunited once again!

P.S. I love you!

A Weekend of Turkey and Gluttony

Everyone loves Thanksgiving! It's a holiday full of family, friends, giving thanks, and best of all: amazing food! I know my favorite food is hard to choose. But, every Thanksgiving, the following can always be found on my plate: stuffing, mashed potatoes, turkey, and green bean casserole. The first three items are all smothered in turkey gravy. I'm odd though and my food cannot be touching when on my plate. I know that it's all going to the same place, but I don't want to taste jello on my potatoes. The two just don't go together, and their tastes don't combine well. Call me weird! As a child, I must have had a hollow leg and a crazy metabolism (or so I hoped) because I could put away at least 3 plates of food! Alas, now I can only handle one. And this Thanksgiving, I was only halfway through my plate when I began to feel full. Perhaps that was because of the homemade Chex mix I ate? I don't think so.

In my family we rotate families to celebrate Thanksgiving with. This year it was my mom's family in Eugene. I was a tad disappointed because I enjoy my dad's side of the family very much, but I'll get to see them at Christmas, maybe. This holiday, however, was slightly different than usual. I had a boyfriend to consider. He wanted to spend the holiday with me and vice versa. The problem? We live an hour apart and our dinners were at the same time (3-3:30ish) and were an hour and a half apart. Big problem. Thankfully, Zach's mother (whom I now love more than ever) suggested that I come up a day early and spend time with the family and then we'd leave after Zach's extended family arrived, therefore, we both spent time with both families. So Zach and I left the booming town of Shaw at about 1:45 on Thursday and made our way down to Eugene and had dinner with my family. I swear that my grandparents must love him or something. Even more than my parents! My grandpa called him "Big Man" (something reserved for my father) and grandma gave him a hug, thanked him for coming, and even remembered his name! I'm pretty sure Zach was very flattered. If only my parents could return that same welcome and goodbye. I hope one day they do.

Little did Zach and I know, but our Black Friday shopping experience was going to start sooner than we realized. I'd planned on being ridiculously crazy, getting up at 3 and being in town by 4. Did that happen? Nope! I was in town by 11:45 Thursday night! Walmart opened up it's sale at 12:01, so you can bet that I was in line vying for deals along with the whole city of Eugene, I swear! From Walmart we proceeded to Kohls to wait in line with Debbie Kelson. Boy was it cold! Thank goodness I have a portable heater, aka Zachary Parker! My man is great at keeping me warm, and is a great snuggle buddy! Girls, I don't share, and yes, I do bite! Kohls was crazy once inside, the line wrapped around the whole store. I sent Zach ahead to wait in line at Target which opened at 4 am, an hour after Kohls. After making my purchases, I ran to Target, found him in line and we went inside. Both of us were on a mission, so we split up and met up again later. According to Zach, he witnessed two people fighting over a last video game. Shouting took place and poor frightened Zach dashed away to find me. Hopefully now he sees how insane people are when the really really want that "great" deal on an item that will be even cheaper in the Day After Christmas sale. Way to go folks! The line in Target was even worse! Thankfully, the employees were really efficient and we made it through the line in no time. From Target, our next stop was JCPenny. Unfortunately, the suit jacket I wanted to buy for Zach was nowhere to be found, it was depressing. So our next stop was Game Stop in the mall where my frugal boyfriend found an even greater deal than the one we'd just found at Target, so it was back to Target we went to return the game. Our final stop of the morning was Fred Meyers. As with JCPenny, this stop was also a fail as the jewlers did not have a watch band to replace the one that Zach had broken. So we left in defeat and journeyed home. I'd tell you all what I purchased at each stop, but then your presents wouldn't be a surprise, now would they?? I ended up going to sleep at 8 am and waking up at 10. It was a LONG day. An eventful and fun one, but long and exhausting!

So I've told you about the "turkey" part of my weekend, but where is the "gluttony" you might ask? Well you could say that shopping on Black Friday could be considered gluttony, but the part that I would define as gluttony would be the part where I never really left Zach's side. This is because next week is Dead week and the week after is Finals week. My policy is that the entire week of dead week and that weekend before finals is totally dedicated to studying. I lock myself in my room that weekend and study like crazy. It's how I do well on my finals (in general). So that means no boyfriend time for almost 2 weeks, because I have a final that Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It really sucks, but I have to keep my priorities straight. School is top priority right now, even though in my heart my Zachary always comes first. It really is hard, but one day I'll marry that man and I won't have to worry about not seeing him for large periods of time. But for now, I'll have to live with the separation. I view it as a good thing because our time together after the separation will be even more special! The next time I get to see him, he'll be a groomsman in his best friend's wedding. So I'm excited for that!

Well, I have to get up early tomorrow morning. I'm going to try to get Civil War tickets so I can see the top ranked Ducks beat the Beavs hardcore! And since I'm a student, I can get tickets for free! But I have to get in line early to do so. I have no idea what I'm going to do after waiting in line, since my first class doesn't start until 11. But I'll figure out something. So I better get to bed soon sice 5:30 will come sooner than I think!

My study poem

Well, I'm sitting on campus bored, and I should be studying. But do I want to? Noooooooo! So I decided to write this little poem to ease my boredom and it pertains to a class...so it counts, right?

Reactions, Reactions, Reactions

Organic chemistry, how I loathe thee

Everytime you show yourself.

Your mechanisms and bonds and molecules

Make my life a living hell.

Yet though I hate you

With more passion known to man,

With the help of this poem

An A on this midterm I will land.

SN1 substitution reactions are a thorn in my side

With their special reaction rates.

With two steps and rearrangements possible,

An alkyl halide they make.

SN2 reactions are similar, but slightly more simple

Than those of SN1.

With only 1 step and 1 simple product

My work is quickly done.

When identifying the type of reaction

Remember this simple rule:

SN1 is a poor nucleophile, and SN2 anionic and good.

This is your greatest tool.

Alkane reactions are simple

And even sometimes fun.

But when alkenes undergo elminination

Their double bonds come undone.

When dealing with elimination reactions
Zaitzev's Rule is applied.
Take from the beta-hydrogen with the least H's
And a good grade on your midterm, you will not be denied.

E1 elimination reactions

Also have a multiple step rate.

Removing beta-hydrogens

An alkene product they make.

E2 elimination reactions, as with SN2

Are more simply done.

With one single step, and a (usually) predictable product

These reactions could be considered fun.

E1 and E2 reactions

Have something special one must keep in mind:

Different isomers are possible,

Cis and trans being those two kinds.

Cis has the highest priority groups

On the "z"ame side.

Trans has them opposite

Clearly as a result of pride.

There is one special rule

When dealing with E2,

If only one beta-hydrogen exists

Only one isomer exists too.

Cycloalkanes are cool

And special too

In E1 the leaving group can be equatorial

But must be axial in E2.

When identifying the type of reaction
Remember this simple rule:
E1 uses triethylamine (NEt3), and E2 a small/bulky base and its solvent.
This is another great tool.

Addition reactions of alkenes

Are more complicated still.

With unsaturated molecules,

Their bonds you will fill.

With Alkene reactions,

Markovnikov's rule is put into place:

The electrophile adds to the carbon with the greater number of H's

And every exam you will ace.

The addition of a hydrogen halide

Is simply seen.

Through hydrohalegenation

An alkyl halide is derived from an alkene.

Through the addition of water

With a acid catalyst's aid,

An alkene goes to an alcohol,

And a alkane product is made.

When an alcohol is added to an alkene

With an acid catalyst as well,

An ether product is formed,

And it's easy to tell.

With the addition of a halogen,

Using dichloromethane,

Halogenation reveals a vicinal dihalide

And an intermediate ion that is in one plane.

And finally....

In Oymercuration-Reduction

Water is added in

With no rearrangements possible,

The product is easy to pin.

When taking an organic chemistry exam,

Always keep this in mind:

Just relax, you know more than you think you know,

And you'll do just fine!

Catching Up

Wow! Has it really been 3 weeks since I've written on here? Holy cow it's been awhile. I guess I've just gotten so busy in real life that I haven't had time to entertain you all with the thrilling tales of my day to day existence. In that case, I've got a lot of catching up to do....

Let's see, my last entry was on October 17th...what's happened since then?? Well, for starters, I've had 3 midterms: 1 math, 1 nutrition, and 1 organic chemistry. Let's start with math, since it came first. My math teacher is pretty much a featherbrained platinum blonde with a high voice and a lisp....kinda annoying! Anyway, she finally posted a midterm review like the Friday before our midterm (which are always on Tuesdays for that class). I got started on Sunday night and knew right away that I was screwed. It is usually not a good sign when you look at a practice midterm and have no idea what you are trying to solve for, or even how to solve the problem. Needless to say I was in a pickle and starting to panic. So what do I do? Call Zach! His brother is a math genius...he'll help me! Wes was a gigantic help and in no time at all I was done with the review and before I knew it, Tuesday had rolled around and my midterm was upon me. As soon as I sit down in my seat and await the start of the exam, the guy next to me turns and begins a conversation like I've known him forever. I've never seen this guy in my life! Yet he rattled on like we were old friends...I guess some people are just uber friendly or this was his subtle way of hitting on me. Either or, I was weirded out. But after finishing my test, I felt pretty damn good. And my score proved it: 90%. It is now apparent that I have multiple reasons to date Zach now. 1) his charm 2) his dashing looks 3) his loyalty, honor, kindness, and overall personality and 4) his brother Wes! Good reasons in my opinion!

My next midterm was my nutrition midterm the week after math. I spent the weekend before at Zach's. Zach and his dad went hunting that Saturday morning so I decided to utilize my time and study for nutrition by taking a butt load of notes. Now that's dedication! I felt very confident in my knowledge for that midterm...so I was a little disappointed when I only ended up getting like an 87-88%. It's nothing to sneeze at, but I was still frustrated with myself. Simple mistakes, I assume. I wish that could be said for my organic chemistry midterm. I went in feeling very good about this midterm too. But as soon as I saw that test, my heart sank, my mind shut down and I began to turn on panic mode. I left that exam room feeling absolutely awful! I stayed at Zach's that weekend too and had him look up my score for me: 79%...the class average, but not my usual par. Needless to say I was a little disappointed, but at least I didn't fail as I had feared.

After my chem midterm, I headed up to Western Oregon University for their Halloween Dance, a tradition of sorts. I attended last years' and had a blast. This time, I took a date with me: Zach. We both dressed up at vampires/pirates. I, in my corset, a ruffly black top, leggings, and boots and Zach in a ruffly white top, a vest, black pants, and long black boots. We made quite the stunning couple and I got tons of compliments on my outfit! I spent the night at my friend Kate's house and then went to school the next morning. After school, I picked up my unbiological sister Jenny and we both went to the Celtic Thunder concert! Oh my gosh! It was so much fun, and the music was amazing! Right after that, I drove straight up to Shaw, changed into my costume, and went to a Halloween party with Zach. The weekend was spent watching movies, carving pumpkins (which he made me gut...something I've hated since childhood), dinner out, and trick-or-treating. It also happened to be our 2 month anniversary on the 30th. Love you baby!

This past week has been a rough week. I haven't been sleeping well, I found out I have another math midterm this coming Tuesday, and my classes are all moving super fast with the material. This weekend was welcomed, even though Zach spent the weekend down here. It's always rough...but we made a pumpkin cheesecake, which turned out beautifully! We watched the Duck game, and today spent time with my second family. We even had a heart to heart talk and I got out some emotional baggage of my own. It's great to be able to trust him with that stuff. It's a nice and welcomed change from the past...

But, now it's time for me to get some sleep...I need to really get some good sleep for the coming weeks. They're gonna be long...

Date Night

Remember those times in high school where you'd dress up for the dance, go out with your date and just have fun? Well who says those times have to end when you reach college??? I say that I can dress up and go out whenever I damn well please! And so, that's what Zach and I did Saturday night. Commence the weekend tale......

This weekend was Zach's weekend to come down to my house to stay the night. He arrived Friday night. Little did he know that I had plans in store for us. I took us up to Skinner's Butte in Eugene. I was warned ahead of time to go up when it was still light out, for it is not located in the best part of town...aka pot-smoking, tree-hugging, crystal meth tweaker central. Nevertheless, with my big hunking man to protect me, I had no fear of the drug dealing Eugenians. I found a random trail and we proceeded to hike. We ended up at the bottom and Zach gave me a piggy-back ride all the way back to the top. What a trooper! We then watched the sunset together, me cuddled up next to him with his jacket on (I was cold! As usual). It was very romantic. I also presented him with a card. This card was just a tangible, written version of my feelings for Zach. My dear Zachary. I thought he was going to cry.....I know I almost did. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Friday evening. We even finished off the night with my favorite Disney movie: Beauty and the Beast!

Saturday dawned and I woke up and made my love waffles....from scratch! Not just any waffles. Chocolate chip waffles!!! They were delicious, I must say. We then ventured to Bimart and Safeway for some grocery runs (including finding him white underwear...the purpose of which will be revealed later). Then came the best part. My second mother, Debbie was kind enough to do my hair...as usual and help dress me up with her wonderful jewlery that she sells. Premier Designs: you are like my new hero! I felt like a million bucks!

Doesn't he look great??? I LOVE his white suit! Not many guys can pull it off, but mine sure can! I felt so lucky to have such an amazing looking date by my side! We had to many amazing pictures taken before we even left.

What a keeper right? Just the look on his face is enough to see how much he loves me. It never ceases to amaze me. And how he's holding me with such care. Debbie did an amazing job taking these pictures! Thanks so much Debbie!! (I know you're probably reading this)

So we went out to Olive Garden, shared soup, salad, and breadsticks, spinach and artichoke dip and a lemonade. It was so romantic. The funniest thing was that we were called Mr. and Mrs. Parker by the hostess. It was really odd. Just because I had a ring on my ring finger doesn't mean I'm married. Especially since the ring did look fake, at least in my eyes. But I suppose at a distance one could be mistaken. But do I look old enough to marry??? (that's a rhetorical question by the way....) Dinner was super good and I had an amazing time, as I knew I would! The best part? Sitting next to my love and looking into his eyes and seeing the emotions there. Knowing that this is actually something real. Something I've never experienced. That was my favorite part. We had planned on going to Sweet Life, but you know what Zach said? He said he'd just rather go back to the house and have snuggle time. Awwwwwwwwww! What a perfect guy! I'm a snuggle whore so of course I couldn't say no! Especially since we snuggled while watching The Princess Bride. Best. Movie. Ever. Period. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" .....I just had to! You know you were expecting it...don't lie!

It's always a hard thing when he has to leave. I nearly burst into tears this time. It feels like a part of me is missing in his absense. Like there is a hole that can't be filled. Luckily, this time, he left me his quilt, so I can imagine his arms wrapped around me like the warmth of the quilt. It's a comforting thought. I don't know if I'll ever give it back. Sorry babe!

My night was filled with math. Lucky for me, Zach's oldest brother, Wes was willing to help me. Love you Wes!! And I eventually got through it. Hopefully some of it sticks with me, or I'm screwed on my midterm coming up on Tuesday. Please God help me get through it. And since my brain is like dead, I'm exhausted and I think it's time for me to head to bed. I may be getting sick, so I need my sleep. Good night all!!

My love; my Zachary,

You're probably reading this again, and I want to thank you for being the wonderful you and the amazing boyfriend that you are. I am truly in love with my best friend and it feels amazing. I could not ask for more. Once again, this post is dedicated to you, my love. My heart is and will always be forever yours.

It's Been A Rough Day

Everyone has them. They're like the the burnt oatmeal that you find at the bottom of the pan because you forgot that you left it on the stove.... A rough day. That's how mine was. Maybe because it's Monday, maybe because I didn't get enough sleep...whatever the reason, today just hasn't been my day.

My day started off with slumber (like every other day, right??). I had a horrible dream. In this dream, for some reason only God knows, I joined a sorority. Now, for those of you who may not know me, I would NEVER do this consciously. I have no intention of getting drunk every weekend and getting raped. Nasty shit goes down in a sorority. So I have no clue whatsoever why I would ever even dream of being in one. But, we don't choose our dreams. Unless you are a lucid dreamer, which would be freaking legit! I dreamt that I was in the sorority house, and was trying to locate my bed, which was on the third floor (do sororities even have 3 stories?? This one did!) and was in a room with 4 other beds. I got lost and my fellow "sisters" were making fun of me, and did not accept me one bit. I look in the mirror, and my attire is that of a complete nerd! Baggy pants, loose fitting turtleneck sweater, hair in a ponytail, and glasses. I don't even wear glasses in the real world! What the hell?? I meet my roommates; 2 of which are exceedingly kind to me, and show me around. They take me under their wing, and it's so pleasant. Next thing I know, two guys from the frat across the street come in and I must admit, they were good looking! One of them looked a lot like my boyfriend, strangely enough. They too are kind to me. The house mother, on the other hand, hates me. She ridicules me every chance she gets. I call my parents and beg them to let me come home, but they won't hear of it. So after suffering for a month or so, all of the sororities and fraternities are called out on their front lawns to sing their house song (if those even exist in real life, but in my dream they sure did!). For some reason, my sororities song was The Circle of Life, and me being the newbie, I was put on display like Simba and was jeered at by all of the other students. After that, I woke up. Not a good start to my day.

After shaking off that dream, I begin to get ready for school. This includes printing out the days notes for my lectures. The problem? Blackboard won't let me sign on. "The server is currently unavailable" my computer screen tells me. Which does NOT make me a happy camper! I finally manage to get the notes printed. Then comes the task of getting dressed. This is usually a 10-15 minute process. Why, you ask? Well, it's because I never know what I'll be in the mood for until I start looking. So I settled for this look today:



don't ask me why, but I just felt like wearing it and I felt damn sexy...so there! Every girl needs to feel that way every now and then. So as I leave my house, I drop my sister's calculator off at the high school and head to school myself. I get about halfway and realize, I forgot to grab the notes that I took such pains to print out this morning. Wow Kenna, great going! But, I don't have time to turn back, so I keep driving.

I arrive on campus and hope to find parking close to my classes. Do I? Of course not! Not with the way my day's going, it would throw it off! So I drove around for 10 minutes and thought I'd try my hand (or wheel?) at parallel parking...that was a no go. Not enough room. So I drive to the complete opposite side of campus and find parking right away. Of course....Well now I'm stuck walking across campus in my heeled boots and I need to stop by the library to print out my notes. What happens when I walk into the computer lab? They're all taken. Just my luck! So I have to walk around and stalk people to the printer like I'm a molester waiting to kidnap their computer as soon as they leave it unattended. I eventually managed to get one and 5 minutes and 49 cents later, I left the library with only my math notes printed out. I figured that in O-chem, we wouldn't get to Ch. 5. Boy was I wrong. Not even 15 minutes into lecture, we start Ch. 5. Perfect...So I'm stuck with primitive handwritten notes. Which are great for memorization, but the pictures are hard to draw and I don't have enough time. Oh well...at least I understood the material. Math flew by and I was on my way home.


I come home, finish my O-chem quiz in record time, get 10/10 and then head to my volleyball game. Not only is nothing set up, but I don't feel well, at all. Yay for being a girl....come to find out, I have to referee our game. Definitely wasn't in my job description but seeing as I'm a woman of many trades, I took the challenge and ran with it. It was the highlight of my day! Those girls always brighten my day. It's so great to see them out of the court enjoying themselves and just loving the game that is a passion of mine. It's so fulfilling!

So I come home from my volleyball game and get to work on the math homework I've been putting off. It's not due until next Monday, but I was procrastinating to wait until this evening to do it (I know, I'm pathetic). So I begin to work on the spawn of Satan: Math 111 homework. I get partway through, and once again, I have trouble with a server. Are you kidding me?!? I work on this long-ass problem that for some reason, I'm too stupid to figure out. Until I realize that I was pretty much doing it right the entire time and just thought I was doing it wrong. So 30 minutes later, I enter my answer, get it right, and the server kicks me off again! Oh my God!!!!! Of course, when I get back on, the problem is different. This happened twice more before I finally got an answer in. By that time I was pro at that problem. The rest of the homework proceeded without a server glitch but my brain seemed to be a permanent glitch. I kept making stupid mistakes and was talking a blue streak to myself. My family must have thought I was crazy. Which I was, I was possessed by math...it's an evil thing! By the end of my homework, my brain was fried and I was frustrated beyond belief. I don't know if I've ever been so happy to turn in an assignment.


What I'm hoping is that I've gotten my horrid day out of the way early this week. I don't know if I could handle another day like this later. It might do me in. The night hasn't been getting much better, so maybe if I go to sleep soon, I can sleep it off. Unless I have more crazy random dreams, then I'm screwed. So here's to sleeping off a rough day....

Can It Get Any Better??

Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged. You all must have been sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to tell you about my pathetic (or not so pathetic) life! Well, I'm here to quench your thirst and to stop the suspense. Are you ready? Here we go!

Well, this past week started off with Organic Chemistry and Math as usual. On Mondays my professor, Dr. Myles, posts a quiz that opens at 10AM and must be completed by 5PM on Friday. When did I get mine done? At approximately 7:42:15 PST on Monday evening. Okay, I haven't a clue the exact time I finished it, the point is that I finished on Monday evening. And who got 100%? That's right, me! The girl that was so stressed and was not looking forward to O-chem. I'm grabbing it by the horns (or perhaps, bonds??) and am running with it. I'm even ahead on my math homework, life is looking up in that regard!

Work on Tuesday night was fairly uneventful. No falling and spilling dishes everywhere, much to the dismay of my co-worker, Aaron J. He was so hoping to have another laugh at my expense, or perhaps with me. One usually doesn't laugh when they are injured until after the fact and they've iced their wounds and are through being sore. Such was the case with me last Tuesday. Either way, I was fairly safe and even managed to get out at a fairly early time. It was a good night!

Wednesday was an amazing day! I did NOT want to stay for the entire day. 11-5. No sir!! So I decided to leave my O-chem recitation early, skip Nutrition 104 and go to my girls' volleyball game in the Burg. I busted butt across campus, drove home and made it to the game. I walk in the gym (am complimented on my attire by my entire team), talk to the other coach, turn around and who walks in? My amazing boyfriend, Zach. The sweetheart had decided to surprise me. And me, being blonde on the inside, and apparently blind, had no idea that his car had been sitting right outside. Just goes to show you that I was solely focussed on volleyball. Most girls get that way when they go to a makeup counter or the trendy clothing store. Tunnel vision on their favorite items. A nuclear war could be going on around them and all they would see are the skinny medium denim washed jeans that were $49.99 now marked down to $29.95. (But I'll never find a deal like this again!!) Yeah, that's how I felt about the game that day. I kinda ruined his surprise by not noticing him, but he being the loving boyfriend that he is, quickly forgave me and watched me coach my game. And believe it or not, my team won! It was a glorious day! Afterwards, Zach and I went out to dinner at the local Chinese food restaurant. The little turd made me eat some hot sauce. Thought my face was going to melt off!! So I sought revenge and smeared copious amounts of our pumpkin pie blizzard in his face. Karma I say! We rounded off the night with a delightful children's movie. For what better way to end a night than a good ol' kid movie? Nothing if you ask me!

Thursday was fairly uneventful. For some reason I struggled in my volleyball class, but that's to be expected every now and then. I was merely wishing for time to race by faster so that I could spend the weekend with my love on Friday. Friday rolled around and my lectures went by mercifully fast and I was on my way to Shaw! For reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, I was to be at Zach's by 2:30 and no later. Well, no problem, I thought. I arrived at his house around 2:00, let myself in, and got to work on my O-chem homework (like the overachieving, Type A, OCD person that I am). Next thing I knew, Zach's parents were getting me all bundled up and ushering me out the door. I was SO confused! I'm not from the Salem area, so as we were driving, and I was chatting with Sherri, I had absolutely no idea where they were taking me. They could have been taking me to a temple and offering me as a virgin sacrifice for all I knew. I was confused because I had expected Zach to be home at 2:50, yet here we were, driving away from the house. It was a "What the hell is going on??" moment. We pulled up by the Lancaster Mall and I went from confused to completely and utterly lost. As we drove around by the theater, I saw my handsome man standing outside, then I knew what was going down. What I didn't know, was that he had remembered that I had said quite some time ago that I wanted to see Secretariat when it came out. What an awesome boyfriend I have! It was a wonderful surprise, and I felt like the luckiest woman alive at the moment!

Saturday dawned and we spent most of the morning snuggling together, until be both decided that our mutual need for food was much greater than our need to be snuggling with one another. Gotta have your priorities straight! My stomach said that it didn't give a rat's butt about Zach, it just wanted to be fed. And unfortunately, at one point that overruled my head and heart and I was ravenous. I was like a fat kid when he sees a twinkie truck...no one could deter me from food! Luckily Zach's dad must have sensed my impending hunt for food and made me pancakes. Oh my how they hit the spot! After breakfast (which took place at noon!) we sat around because we couldn't figure out what to do. It seemed like the argument of the weeked in the family was going to be the paint color for the living room. The green did not suit Sherri, but she could not fid a color that she really liked that complimented the furniture and lighting. Of course, the guys had their own opinion. But everyone knows that girls have to stick together, so my mission was to help pick out a color. Which I eventually succeeded with. We're girls, we do that! So Zach and I watched his mom paing until Zach suggested going to Silver Falls. I'd never been before, so it sounded like a wonderful idea to me! What a wonderful place! I had an amazing time! The waterfalls were exceptionally beautiful:

what a long hike though! I discovered that I am sorely out of shape and need to workout. Perhaps I'll start doing that. Or perhaps I'll just continue to bitch and moan about how I look and how out of shape I am and refuse to workout, as usual and as is how a typical American is. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea to me! Who wants to break stereotypes anyway?? Why do you think they're there? To be followed!! And if I broke stereotype, I wouldn't be considered American. I must to everything the American way...bigger!! Anyway...it was an amazing spontaneous activity and I had a wonderful time. We got some amazing pictures together; it was very romantic.

You can't really see his face, but there is my handsome, sweet, caring, amazing, wonderful, compassionate, tender, and loving boyfriend: Zach. The man who holds my heart, my love. He never ceases to amaze me. I know a lot of my posts contain something about him, but he's just so important to me and truly makes me happy. Something I haven't really been in quite some time. It's so refreshing to be able to smile almost every day just knowing that he is mine and I am his. To know the feeling of being safe, warm and loved in someone's embrace. It's an amazing feeling and one that I wouldn't trade for the world. I don't plan on letting this one get away from me. And you all can mark my words. Someday, he's going to be mine forever, and then I'll never have to say goodbye to him after a weekend together. I can wake up looking into his eyes, knowing that I am loved unconditionally for forever an always. I cannot wait until that day...

Now getting away from the mushy stuff (which I do love by the way, but I have to appeal to all of my audiences, as a good writer does...but who says I'm a good writer??). After returning from Silver Falls, we enjoyed pizza and sat in the hot tub for quite some time and just talked, which is always to easy to do around him. Another thing I love! And we ended the night once again with a movie. I decided to stay another night because I just couldn't bring myself to say goodbye quite yet. So I got up early, my man made me breakfast (French toast...which seems to be a regular breakfast for us now) and I got on the road. It always kills me to say goodbye. Not to mention it was raining and I despise the rain! I live in Oregon, one of the States that receives the most rainfall and I detest the liquid from the sky! Yet, I still choose to live here. What's wrong with me????

I went to work at 11:30 and it was super slow. Not to mention I didn't feel well one bit. So my wonderful manager took pity on me and sent me home where I proceeded to work on O-chem homework (for those of you that don't remember, it was the homework I had started on Friday at Zach's before my surprise) and finished my math homework as well. In addition, I booked a room at OSU for my jewlery party on the 20th after like 20 minutes of trying to figure out how to do so...I must be too stupid to figure out how OSU works! Either that, or I'm too smart because they write directions for idiots. Either way, I eventually figured it out.

Now I'm in a predicament as to what I want to do the rest of the night. I know a shower is on the agenda, but I think I may continue to reminisce about my amazing week and weekend and hope that this week and weekend are even better!

My dearest Zachary,

I know you'll read this like the amazing boyfriend that you are. I just want you to know that I love you and I miss you. And that wherever I am, know that I am thinking of you and loving you with all of my heart. Thank you for such an amazing week and weekend. I look forward to spending many more with you. This blog is dedicated to you, my love!

Weekend of All Weekends

Wow, what a weekend! I know people probably say that all the time, but my weekend was amazing! Not only did I finish all of my homework prior to it's beginning (someone write that on the calendar!) but Zach got to come down! Our one month anniversary was Thursday. I can't believe it's been a month already. It has flown by, yet it seems like we've been together for ages. That's probably because we've known each other for a year and were friends first. Something just feels so right with him, it sounds odd, but to me, our future looks bright.

Friday just seemed to pass by uber slowly. Doesn't time always do that when you are anticipating something big? Yeah, that happened to me. Zach was coming down after he was done with class at 2:20. I finish class at 1 on Fridays. So I went home and started on my math homework. That class makes me feel like a dunce. I haven't taken math since junior year, so I'm a tad rusty. And I don't like feeling stupid. But surprisingly, I finished my homework in record time, and found it quite simple! Perhaps Zach should come down more often, if not just to make me finish my homework more quickly! So after I finished math, I took notes for my nutrition class. Call me a nerd, but I don't mind doing this. Reading the textbook has never been so enjoyable! We haven't even started the chapter I'm taking notes on...overachiever much? Yeah, I think so. So this is what I did until Zach arrived. As soon as he pulled up the books went away and I ran and lept into his arms. To my surprise he brought me a rose and chocolate. What a sweetheart! We then went out to dinner for our anniversary, and he drove, in his SEXY car--a 1995 bright red convertible Chevy Camaro. Oh my gosh...that car is amazing! I love it!!!!!

After dinner, I drug him to my high school's football game where the poor guy had to sit through watching me play in the pep band. He's such a trooper! Of course, he got the privelage of warming me up after the game with a movie and some cuddling. In the morning, I made him breakfast and kicked his butt on the Wii! Following video games, I decided to go get my ears pierced. He held my hand the entire time, even though I felt like a wuss. But my ears look pretty! The day just seemed to speed by. We watched the Duck game with my family, which was actually one of my favorite parts of the whole weekend. It was great family time with the most important people in my life. We watched Avatar then it was time for him to leave: the hardest part of the weekend. It took all of my strength to let go and walk back up to the house. It hurt to hear him driving away, knowing it would be another week before I see him again. I still miss him like crazy and have all day today, but I know that it will be amazing when I get to see him again and I look forward to it as each day passes.

All sentiments aside, I think it may be time for me to turn in for the night. The sooner I go to bed, the sooner tomorrow gets here, and the sooner the weekend gets here when I get to see him again. So good night all!

Zach, if you're reading this, I miss you like crazy and I love you so much!

Epic Fail

Everyone has those days where you just seem to be living an "epic fail." Today was that day for me. Want to know about all of my moments?? Well, here goes.

Epic Fail #1: Math 111 Pre-Reqs Test
My first class of the day was my Math 111 recitation. I knew that we were going to be taking a skills test today, what I didn't know was that my skills would not be present. One look at the test and I thought, "I'm screwed". I recognized all of the concepts the problems presented, however, I could not remember exactly how to complete them. It took me the full time to complete that test, and the last few problems, I half-assed and guessed. Epic Fail!

Epic Fail #2: Volleyball III Class
My last class of the day was my Volleyball III class. I was super excited to attend and play some hardcore volleyball. I did not know how good people would be. One of the first things we were supposed to do was jump serve. I've never been able to jump serve in my entire life. Needless to say I just stared dumbly and attempted to serve. I got 1 over. I was embarrassed. Epic Fail! Another fail moment? I receive a beautiful set from our setter, I swing, I miss, I fall....yeah. Epic Fail!

Epic Fail #3: Mopped Floor and Dishes at Work
I worked tonight, obviously, and I was closing up front. I had just mopped the floor and was carrying back dishes to put away. I rounded the corner and felt my feet slipping out from under me. Before I knew it, I was falling to the floor and my dishes were flying everywhere. I broke my fall with the right half of my lower body and looked around me in shock, pain, and embarrassment at the dishes that were laying on the floor. I got up and pain shot through my right side. Oh, how it hurt! But that's totally me. I WOULD slip and fall...yay. So now that I feel a huge bruise coming on, I can officially say that I've injured myself at Dairy Queen.....again! Epic Fail!

See? We all have those kinds of days. I'm just hoping that after I wake up tomorrow, my day isn't another epic failure. With that, I'll retire and try again tomorrow!

A Day of Angst

Warning: The following post may contain anger and unhappiness towards the world

How was my day today, you ask?? Oh simply splendid my dears, just splendid! For those of you who didn't catch it, that last statement was completely sarcastic and untrue. I had one of those days where it starts off fairly well and it seems like a precurser to a fantastic day, but it's all a lie. Like on Christmas, where you see a huge box and you're thinking it's the karoake machine you've been begging your parents for and you open it up and it's just a pair of socks cruely disguised. That was my day. Let the tale begin....

How I woke up should have been indication to how this day was going to go. I had my alarm set for 8:50am so I could be up by 9. I tend to hit my snooze button twice before getting up, so I set my alarm to accommodate for that. I was woken up by a text, at 8:06, from Kat asking me if I was going to the game this weekend (OSU is playing ASU at home). Well, going back to sleep was impossible after that so I decided to get up and start getting ready. I needed to get a parking pass, so I figured it was all good. I dressed and did my hair and makeup with the following results:

I felt like I looked decent so I thought today would be a great day. Well I got to campus and went straight to the Transit and Parking Services office. I waited in line for 15 minutes before arriving at the counter. I told the lady that I'd sent my application for a permit in and she looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "Oh!" she said like she'd never heard of such a thing, or perhaps she just wasn't used to Type A overachievers such as myself. Either way, I found it odd. She came back and said she couldn't find my application. That confused and upset me as I know I sent it in. But, fortunately, she was nice about it and just had me fill out a portion of the form and gave me my parking pass--which cost me $186!

I left Adams Hall (where TAPS is located) and went to find a parking spot in my usual lot. What do I find? A full lot. "No matter" thought I, I'll just drive to the back of the lot, there's always spots there. Do I find any? No. There are none to be found...ANYWHERE! I drove around for 15 minutes trying to find a spot. Finally, I flip a u-turn in the middle of 15th St and whip into a metered parking spot. The bad? The meter is only for 2 hours. It's 10:44. I have a class at 11 and noon. There is no way I'm making it back in time before the meter expires. But do I care at this point? No. This bears saying: I'm not wearing great walking shoes. I was wearing leather boots with fur inner lining with a heel. So I'm practically sprinting across campus to make it to Organic Chemistry on time. By the time I reach my class, with two minutes to spare, my feet are one massive blister. Walking back to my car after my last class was literally a pain.

I left school at 1:15 after waiting in line for a football ticket, to a game which I will probably not go! I got home and did some chemistry review work. It wasn't much of a review seeing as I did not know how to do about half of it. That looks promising for me, no?? Felt like a champ! After completing the problems, I left for my horrible volleyball game. From the minute I walked in the gym, the referee seemed to have it out for me. She disrespected my position as coach, looked down upon me because of my age, and was just downright rude. I'm a passive aggressive person. It takes a lot to piss me off, but boy was she good at it. It didn't help that I was already stressed and not in a good mood, but she really knew how to shorten my fuse. I nearly went off on her. I've never been so mad after a game, even when I played! And I got intense when I played. It took me hours to calm down.

This day was just full of anger, angst, and stress. It has really taken its toll on me. I was exhausted at about 7:30. Those negative feelings really affect a person. You don't realize how much until you just want to lay on the floor, curl into a ball and rock back and forth. I felt so helpless today, like I'd fallen into a well and was slowly drowning while the world watched and some poured water on top of me. It's an awful feeling. Even Zach had trouble cheering me up. I was really down in the dumps today. It's really hard to get out of that rut once you've fallen in. It's like the saying "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Except, I'm not an old lady that's broken her hip, but you get the point.

The positive of my day? I went to another jewlery party at Debbie's house. I'd seen the show yesterday, but it was still fun to see it again, and watch Debbie excel at her first presentation. I simply love that jewlery, and MUST have some at one point. Thank goodness I'm hosting my own party in October! That house always seems to relax me. I love it there!

So while my day was mostly negative, it ended on a positive which is where I'm hoping tomorrow will start and stay even though I have to work. I'm really hoping to not have another negative day tomorrow. I can't take many of those. They wear a person out quickly. But it is time for me to say goodnight and go to bed soon. I have a class at 9 tomorrow, I have to be up by 7. Yay me!